acceptance

wow.....the stress of having an early acceptance. i suppose i wouldn't be in such a dilema if i never changed my mind about going to which university.

i got a conditional offer to mac university. you see....the problem is.....i've always wanted to go to mac since grade 8 or 9. but all of a sudden, this year....i find that i really really want to go to waterloo. i don't know why....but i'm sooo nervous about all this.

i mean, i could have waited to write an entry on blogger, but i knew i couldn't sleep if i didn't release this stress that i had from this conditional offer. my friends say i have nothing to worry about. but are they just saying that because they don't want me to be completely freaking out over a conditional offer? sighs. i mean....i know why i feel sooo stressed. if this acceptance were to come last year, i knew for sure i would have said yes without even thinking about n e other university that i applied to. but maybe that's the problem. maybe it's because i was too sure of myself, and GOD didn't want me disappointed if i didn't make it into what i truly wanted sooo much. i don't know...can't always drag reasoning with something maybe GOD this or maybe GOD that. just isn't right.

at least for now i'm sure, i know i will not be slacking off a whole lot. i want to be accepted....who wants to be rejected aye? at least meet the requirement for your early acceptance...if not, it's going to make you look bad. but not only looking bad...feeling bad. feelings last longer than looks. looks from others come and go, and if they truly want to understand you, they will understand what happened to cause such a rejection.

i must have confidence in myself. But most IMPORTANTLY, confidence in GOD. i NEED to start praying alot more. I NEED to start having devotions that actually mean more. I NEED to build up a better relationship between MY HEAVENLY FATHER and I. NOW IS THE TIME TO CHANGE OLD HABITS AND MAKE THEM NEW AND LONG LASTING.

i need a hug...sigh....