change

with all that's going on in life....it looks like 2 months of the new year has passed...and we are already in the 3rd month of 2005. can you believe it?!?!

time flies sooo fast...

and now...it's time for me to go to uni soon....in a matter of another 3 months or so i should be finished hs....how fun aye?.....sighs.....

i never knew what i did wrong then...and now when i look back at certain old memories...all i can do is fill up with tears on the inside. i didn't know what i did wrong then, i still don't know what i did wrong now. what hurts the most, you thought i was a betrayer...you thought i was a user...you said you trusted me and you knew me...and so....it seems it was all a lie. a sham to cover up your harboured feelings toward me.

you call me the "fag" of the situation. you call me the greatest "bitch" of the world. and so it seems, i will never change your mind...but nor do i think i want to waste my time n e more.

my life has changed. i have matured some what. but with this maturity comes knowlege, rights and responsibilities. but what you don't understand that even though you have pushed me aside, you think you have forgotten and you won't remember, one day, the memories of of our friendship with come back to haunt you and you will figure out how shitty you treated your "friends". you say your friends are true to you now...maybe some are, but i am sure there are those that will not stick to you like many have done in the past. you can try to forget, but your past won't die like that.

you say you have split personalities...so does everyone else...you're not that special. you once told me the same thing...stop thinking only you go through this stuff. and you know what? i express myself so others can comfort...if you didn't want to...don't drag me down into your misery. at least i don't deny that i'm in pain. at least i don't deny that i need help. at least i don't deny i have anger management issues. at least i don't deny i'm tooo sensitive. at least i don't deny that i'm selfish. at least i don't deny that i'm just who i am and i am just who i am.

sighs.....i have wished you all the best in life when we parted ways, i wish you all the best now....