well now....i'm writing a blog.....and well.....I GOTSTA DO MY DEVOTIONAL!!!!! muhahahaha. loosing the passion to do it already. but.....hahahaha.....at least i know i want to now. and i know whenever i want to do something....i do it. hahahaha. unless of course....i am super exhausted and have no energy to do n e thing except sleep. muhahahahaha.
well now.....i promised matt that i would do it....and whether or not i promised him....i should do them n e ways....so yeah....woooooo whooo....
starting to get tired though...since well....i've just finished eating=.= yeeek.....
matt still hasta finish my food and nutrition stuff. man...i feel sooo bad for telling him to do this for me.....BUT....THANKIES SOOO MUCHIE TO HIM if he reads this.
after three hours of me practicing for a presentation.....i still...messed up....but at least well.....i know that i'm alrightees....presenting in front of the class about something that i don't totally know by heart and have no passion for just means i need more practice. as matt said, if three hours wasn't enough...next time, i should try 6. hahahaha. i'm a stumbler....i stumble on my thoughts and words alot....thank goodness arun didn't bombard me with questions and make me cry.....
wow.....i'm very weak in my faith....how can people barf up christianly knowledge like that? how can they be soooo good at reiterating what was said during the sermon?^o) boooo. why am i sooo crappy at stuff like this? why do i not learn what i should know. sighs. why am i sucha horrible person like this...sighs.
well now.....i'm just gonna look above...and well...continue to look forward. i'm not gonna give myself time to feel pity for myself. i will not pity myself. there is nothing to pity myself for. accepted and digested. i am fine. i am not physicaly hurt. i was emotionally hurt....but hey.....that's what being human is all about. it's about trying to get up. it's about the journey and the destination. it's about the faith that we have. it's about the purity of love that consumes our lives and the passion we demonstrate daily. our lives are more about GOD than they should be focuse on us, but hey.....i'm probably offending those without a faith now so it seems.
but these are my thoughts. my feelings. my emotions. and well....if you people think it's stupid to read about my feelings and my thoughts about my feelings.....then....don't bother to talk to me...you'll find me dull. you will find that i am not your "type". if you find that my thoughts are tooo focused on my emotions....then well...get to know me....and you will find....my emotions are very much part of who i am. i am who i am because of most importantly GOD, but, at this present moment, my emotions. i am a logical person.....and sometimes....my emotions consume my thoughts....making it seem to you that it wasn't logical. i hate being hurt....and i dun wanna get hurt again....but i am unafraid to get hurt again....i just hate the feeling.
i hate circumstances. i don't hate people. sighs.....but....maybe i'm being hypocritical when i'm saying this....hm....i mean.....since i am given the choice to love or hate.....i would choose love, but sometimes, nothing in my daily life conveys that i chose love and instead demonstrates all my hate and bitterness. sighs. i can only pray that i will see the world for what it is and not be bitter because of the way it is.
wow....i'm not that sarcastic of a person am i?^o)
No comments:
Post a Comment