numb

the sourness of the pineapple is making the cuts in my mouth bleed:(

but yeah. i am feeling kind of numb now. i am just a friend. nothing less, maybe something more. but i am and forever will be just a friend. is what i am doing only making the situation worst for me? sighs sighs. is the way i am treating him worth it at all? in a way....i really think it is.....and then there is the other side of me.....it says it's not worth it at all. you may ask why, but it's because...sighs sighs, i don't see n e thing that would happen. sighs sighs. in this sense, that means all i am doing now is only going to make it worst for myself. not only does it get me tired, but it also gets me upset more because i'm thinking of what "we" might be. it's the phases like this that ruin everything for me.

i want to be happy. i want to be civil. sighs sighs. i want to just args.....sighs....