well now....today is half day....but i really don't feel like going to n e classes....so.....yeah...i'm not going to go to n e.....wonder if matt went...hm.
well now. i mean.....hahahaha. i talked to JEAN from like 10 last night and almost talked all the way to two. can you believe? :O muhahahaha. i don't know. there is something about everything that i said that makes me really happy. after this...i shall do my devotion. wow. i don't know. i just feel sooo happy now. i hope it's not a mood swing....hahahaha. i wonder if i ask my daddy to take me to mitchels would he take me. muhahaha. i dunno if i'll go visit bri. muhahahaha. i kinda really wanna go shopping. ahhhhh. i want to buy earrings. there is this certain pair that i really want. i probably won't get a matching necklace....but yeah....muhahahaha. you will see. muhahahaha.
i am finished my magazine. muhahahaha. oh...apparently matt lau has beome the director, editor, art director of my mag. and i am only editorial assistant. hahahahaha. oh yes yes....mr. squiddie is the publishing company. ain't that hot and sexay ma? muhahaahahaha. there are soooo many possibilities to do things today....but what shall i do ar?!?!?! my oh my....what shall i do?!?!?
yeah...but as i said...my printer sux some ass......everything that was brown turned pink=.= out of all colours....pink=.= ewwwwwwww=.= as long as matt doesn't shoot me....i'm fine....hahahaha....all his hard work....turned out pink....XPXP
but yeah.....i finally understand why it was sooo hard for me to move on. yeah, i'm moving on...but it doesn't mean that i'm giving up on the feeling. it's just not me to do that. hahaha. my emotions are the most important part of me. keke^^:D:P i finally figured why i was sooo upset all the time. hahahaha. it was because i was doing something that felt sooo unnatural for me. if i am to forget this feeling i have, it must be of it's own, not my forcefulness to forget it. and so....for now....i hold on to this feeling, and let GOD do his will in my life. he was right. and yeah, ultimately i was wrong....but well....it doesn't matter that i was wrong. i'm sorry for the pain i caused. the most important relationship before i start one with n e one else should be my relationship with GOD. he should be the love of my life always and forever. it is he who can give the ultimate comfort. maybe i did see that it was right, but i rejected it on my own accord because i just couldn't understand.
the question is not whether or not i could see it....it was whether or not i could accept it. hahahaha. and even after accepting it....it wasn't a matter of acceptance, but more a question of actions and reactions. hahahahaha. something inside me will never forget. yeah, some people say i set myself up to fall really hard because my feelings are always sooo intense....but....that's the way i am...
i have never felt soooo happy and calm.....ahhhhhh......YIPEEEEEEEE.....shopping today most likely.....
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