given to all was my heart. i learned to love a year and a half ago. i learned to apply into all that i do. finally once i learnt to love, i'm extremely hurt. i now am no longer able to open myself. i've become self-preserved. i've become selfish. i am once again hidden behind the wall i once shattered. life for me has never ended, and never will as long as my spirit lives on. but as life moves, i stand still. i am not willing to move for my legs do not. i wish for once that i would understand myself. for once i wish i wasn't myself. how can one love others when they love not themselves? no one really understands unless they are in your situation or are u. this week i suppose has been made of full of depression situations because i myself no longer see brightness in the situations that i face. there are those who supposedely do and those that care only cause they see sumthing dey can get in return. there are those like meh, that help and care because dey do, but in return only face hurt. i really hate myself, but i love myself for i cannot hate myself. i have no endurance for life n e more. i just wanna leave....leave here forever....i'd rather live off the street. sighs.....i dun care to face the elements of nature. i dun give, but being a gurl makes running away even more difficult. i have a splendid life, i shouldn't be wanting more. i see happiness all around meh, but why do i feel so miserable??? sighs.....arg.....lyphe never ends. miracles never cease. feeling crumby....but i always feel betta sooner or laters....arg....