hahaha=>:D i've been thinking....like i always do.....muhahaha=>:D

i know u didn't imply dat i wuz weak or n e thing....but i sorta took it dat way. muhahaha=>:d mind u., i ain't offended....cause it's kinda reality....kinda da truth. i ain't dat strong...but i ain't dat weak.....just maybe emotionally i am. along the lines like dis...u said........"sabina, u need a guy....dat's what i think....or at least someone dat's able and willing to devote dere time and heart to u." well i can't remember word for word....sumthing along dose lines....and a bit interpreted of course....but yeah....dat's da way i took it to remember. da thing bout dat is....u ain't da first one to tell meh dis stuff.....u ain't da first to ever tell meh dis kinda stuff....but da thing is.....whatever u say like hits meh with more force. whack....oh wellz...
so what??? i guess i ain't as like independant as i used to think i wuz. sigh sigh....i used to pride myself on my lack of emotions as being independant. foolish thing to do aye??? i really wish that everything was the way it used to be. i wish i wuz dat lil gurly without a care in the world. but den again....i still dun have n e thing to care about....i just do cause i can. sigh sigh....
no one wants a pessimistic person......hahaha=>:D dat ain't da problem here.....cause all my friends are just soo damn optimistic dat dey make meh feel like shit all da time. what da hell is up wit dat shit yo?!?!?...dere are tons of pessimistic peeps out dere....and i get to be friends with all da optimistic peeps dat can't handle negative energy. shit man.....my best friend....or at least i used to think wuz my best friend just let meh go. i guess she wuz just way too optimistic to actually help a shit person like meh. arg!!! i'm actually kinda frustrated.....arg!!! she always said dat my being unhappy seemed soo stupid to her....and yeah...it wuz....but dat ain't da point.....she never tried to help meh. she did by listening to meh....but when i needed her to say sumthing.....she didn't...why??? cause i'd been in a depression too long for her to actually noe what to say?!?!? what dat shit bout now?!?!? a phase in lyphe dun always pass by in a wink of an eye. dat brings meh to another topic

perserverance....i guess dat's what she lacked....i guess dat's what alot of peeps lack. dey are unwilling to provide in strength to endure the whole situation as a whole.....or at least da person dey are. you change along da phase....not purposely so you can endure da problem, but change naturally occurs which u do not intend. both spectrums to change.......for the negative...or for the betta....only personal opinion of course. what one may think as a weakness would be the strength to another. dat's da fine balance between things i suppose. there is always a negative and positive outcome, only depending on one self. dese opinions may be influenced by others of course, but hey.....dat's who you are....ur friends really illustrate how you are...or how u wanna become....it's kinda like monkey see monkey do.....or an open window to ur soul. but den again.....those that need help dun actually ever go to seek it....it's da help dat comes looking for em. it mite not make sense now....but hahaha=>:d eventually u may understand if u think enuff bout da damn thought.

bak to perserverance.....no one actually has all da time to endure through everything....if u even come by to read dis thought....then haha.....noe dis.....i'm mad at u gurl.....mad because u didn't say n e thing cause u ran outta things to say cause u were unwilling to help meh cause u stopped trying. yeah...i'm mad i'm frustrated. it's as if da world has let meh go. as if da world has ceased to care. as if everyone just doesn't wanna see da damn truth. perservere to the end....even if the truth is haunting...

everyone including myself is such a bser.....or in other words....liars. hahaha=>:D some peeps....either are too direct and hide dere like real intentions to doing sumthing....or two.....way too polite or shy to say what they want and never say it.....and dey never get what they want unless dose peeps around em are sensitive enuff. way too funnay....way too much analyzing.....muhahaha=>:d and bad analysis here too.......gotta stops doing dat....well yeah....now meh going.....gotsta do sum studying and well like....analyze more stuff......tai hoe seew.....oh wellz......going...l8z....