well let's see, i still feel pissed off. maybe not pissed off, but just a bit upset.

leadership class, they asked meh to name 3 people that i cherished, and put those three in order. hahaha=>:D:P do you know who i put down? i put no one. i don't cherish n e one more than i cherish n e one else. i debated putting myself down, but then again, i couldn't because i really don't cherish myself all that much, if i did, i would respect myself. hm.

then the teacher asked meh one thing, if i were to go to that person's funeral, what would be one thing that you would wish to say to that person? or what do you wish u said more? it's funny, because at that moment, only one person popped up to my head. and this wuz da person. a guy, a year older than i, who is annoyed with the person i am, and if he were to die and hold a funeral, i would still go, even if he wouldn't go to mine. and all i could say is, i still love him, and i still did care, even though he didn't care about me. he may say dat i try too hard to be accepted, but maybe that's the truth, but at the same time, it's not. it's not my fault that i care, i can't help but to care for you, because u have a place in my heart, even if ur lil space is supposed to be all scars and turmoil, i will not forget the things u still taught meh to be.

i come to understand that people think i try to hard, but many who have accepted meh for meh being who i am, have come to understand that i am not trying too hard, and that i am just willing to get hurt. maybe this is a letter for everyone to read, and weep, or maybe even laugh and point fingers at meh, but honestly, however i end up causing you to be, i just hope u think it's worth it. maybe i cause u pain, or annoyance, but i'm just being there because i care. maybe u think i care too much, but then maybe it's because u haven't ever understood the meaning of actually loving sumone and caring for someone.

maybe at the same time, i just think too much about everything. i just wish too many things would happen....but maybe that's just me