i don't know......i know GOD said to never be unforgiving. how can you be forgiven if you do not forgive? The truth is, i don't know. What is letting go? is it not just another situation where it's just a state of mind? is simply letting go when you are able to laugh at your bad experiences? hahah. I don't know. have you ever had the time when you were really sick of doing something of the ordinary? i don't know. i have. i always feel sick of forgiving, but i always do because i don't like to be angry at people. but....people may still be angry at you even though you have forgiven them and forgiven yourself. hm. yeah, i've never really been the kind to take jokes lighty. i'm one of those types of people that take things really seriously. i mean, i'm very gulible too....and people know that too. i am easily taken advantage of, but i put no shield in defending myself. you may say it's wrong, and i know it somewhat is....but i always say feeling pain is better than not feeling anything at all. i've also never been a very mellow person, i mean, i was, but i always wanted to express myself, just that i never really had much of a chance to express. but now that i do, i somewhat misuse the fact that i am able to express myself. hm....it's not really the term abandon. but it's more like they don't like to be around when i'm down. there are only a rare few that stick with meh when i am down, you being one of them, pat, willy, and like a bunch of guy friends at skool. that's bout it. there's only about two handfuls. most realistic/ pessimistic people like to have friends or find friends that are optimistics and dreamers. it's kinda like a cycle of lyphe. well, little things only mean alot because they have great impact in my lyphe. it's not that i'm afraid of buying new things, but more like i'm upset that i lost such great sentimental valued stuff. but the fact is, how will i ever make new memories if i only ever stick to what i know. heheh=>:D:P it's funny in the sense that i can think both sides at the same time that i only have one mind. hahah=>:D:P neither good nor bad is bad. remember.....the bible states it....but whatever.....i am a devoutee.....yeah.... maybe i scare people with the knowledge that i hold in a body that seems to be soo young, but maybe.....maybe i'm just old through what i've experienced. i do not know.

what makes you mature is different that what makes you old. you can be old, but never age ever in your life, but you can be very young in age and be old. i suppose what i'm basing oldness on is wisdom. hm....oh yeah.....

something from the sermon that i heard today. having an open mind between what morality is is no morality at all. i understand where it is coming from, but do you? hahah=>:D:P you see, if everything was sooo flexible, it's like having no guidelines and no rules at all. so yeah....it's somewhat funnay ba. hehehe=>:D:P yupz yupz. hehehe=>:D:P