hm. smoking, drinking and swearing. hm. let's see....i never have smoked, nor will i ever want to smoke. drinking, i don't like the taste, and yet people say the taste will grow on me, nor will it ever because i choose to rarely ever drink it, if at all ever. swearing, i can't help it. i get frustrated tooo easily. i have too little of patience. patience is something that comes from love. without love, there will be no patience, without love, there will be no willingness to do anything. without love, no one and nothing would survive.

hm.....yeah, for some reason, the thought......the survival of the fittest comes into mind. i don't know. this must be the influence of brian.....grrrr you brian...grrrr....-_-. but i actually do know why the survival of the fittest comes into mind. our school is having our own little survivor game. so then i think about it. it just so happens that matt oh is one of my better friends.....and therefore....i actually get hyper and want to help cheer. args....see in this world.....people don't understand being a friend of the opposite sex without liking them, it's kind of funny if you ask me. now, why survival comes into mind is for this reason.....i don't want him kicked off, but of course, he's made sooo many enemies in our skool for some reason that everyone is trying to kick him off. whacked. oh wellz. i spend the better of my days trying to save people's asses, whereas the people i no could care less.

this caring less business drives me insane. yeah, call me sensitive, but when people tell me that they could care less, i really actually get offended. i get hurt....it's as if someone drives a stake through my heart and they take it out to let me bleed for hours on end....then my lungs collapse and then all goes dark..... near death experiences can drive people into two categories....one....insane to the point that they are paranoid about every little thing that they do.....or two.....insane to the point that they try to enjoy everything, thinking that it's a second chance in life. the truth is.....we have only got one life to live, and spiritually, maybe two if we even choose to believe in Christ. the fact is....i'm a major church junkie.....i'm a Jesus freak....but i'm such a horrible christian. people couldn't pick me out of a crowd as to being christian to begin with. sighs sighs.