i'm reading my past thoughts. and over and over again, i notice the same thing. never have i not writen in long long periods of time. there are times when i am happy, yet those times, those are not recorded in as much detail as when i am said. man, my vocab level is sooo low. args args. i missie the fact that i don't have anyone. but i don't know why i should fret. if it is meant to be, so it shall. hm. i dont understand why i worry about my friendships between people, it's obvious that they don't care as much as i do.

it's very typical that i get called the perfect friend. it's very typical for people to call meh a snob. it's very typical for people to call meh a fob....it's even more typical for someone to call me a cbc. yeah. go kiss my ass. i am very judgemental. i am very critical. i am filled with bitterness. towards what i am bitter against, i do not know.

you see, as i sit here and think about all that i'm missing, i come to notice that i'm not missing anything at all. i notice that my life has not been deprived of any experience nor has it been filled with nonsense. i've come to notice that life does have a purpose, sometimes, not as clear as other times, but the purpose always remains the same. no matter what happens, all will end. no matter what happens, you are still you, rather only you decide to change or not, you are still who i would call as being you. i sit here and think again, in circle my mind turns. the mission of life, simply to life, and for no means at all, end it besides that of accident or of old age. simply living the best you can and fulfilling whatever GOD has planned in your life. but knowing that life is not mine for the taking or giving, for no reason my i use GOD as my excuse for my exsistance. Humans are humans. no human is perfect, rather life is like a drawer full of mismatched socks. no two socks are alike, and even when there are, they somehow never seem to look the same in shape or size. There is no excuse for a person's actions. what one does is what one chooses to do. another person can only advise and warn, but the choice is ultimately up to yourself. if you do not take one's heeding words, then you shall only fall and stumble, all due to your own misguidings.

life is solely what you make out of it. what people choose to do to you is what they choose to do, but it's rather up to how you want to absorb what they've done that will hurt you in the end. i'm not telling people to be cold. but i'm rather telling people that they should watch out how people are.