my thoughts run wild, and as my friends say, my thoughts are too many and i think too much. in a mist of a storm, don't you wish that there was someone to do your thinking while you panic? when you wish that i am no more, there will be more of those times that you wish that you can see me around. i smile thinking of what coulda happened if i'd had taken the chance, but too bad there are things that you just couldn't have done. i've been watching a very old tvb thingy, and it makes me see the values of people in full perspective. i don't know. i see many thngs that i wish not tosee, but at the time, i know there is a reason why i see things as it is. hm. i think i will take psychology, and i will take sociology at the same time later in my life. because i really think it is important that i take the course. but as my choice is becoming clearer at this time, people agree with my choice. i have much encouragement that this is one of those professions that will enjoy at the time that i will fret. as i do that personality tests, those profession test always tell me the same thing. if i set my mind, i will be that kind of person that i will succeed. and i must choose a profession that i will be interested or i will not succeed.

i have no doubt there is a reason why i'm like this. people think i am spoiled, and i will tell you i am. people say that i am arrogant, that i may be at times. what i am is of none of your concern unless i am a bad person that treats you like trash, but as a person, i can never treat you like trash. yes, there is a person that i hate beyond hatred.....but yet at the time, i give him the curtesy to not beat him to a pulp. i know i have said that the next time i see him, i will beat him, and time and time again, i see him, but i do nothing. why do i do nothing? i give him the respect as a person. i've learnt to love my enemy. i have got an enemy, but i really want to see what his reaction would be if i died because he killed me. would he feel the regret? has he seen the times that i honestly cared as a friend? but honestly people that don't see how people care and how they care, well then those people are what in other times be called as "not worth a dog" well translated from chinese.

many times people don't understand how it is to care. many times, people don't understand why people care. for the obvious reasons, there are so many times when people think they shouldn't care about certain people. but i will contintue saying this, when they seem to deserve your hope, love, and time, they need it the most. there are those that just don't receive it, you cannot inforce a gift upon a soul like that, so you just leave your gift at the door waiting for them to pick it up. if they don't pick it up till it's already gone, it's their lost for eternity.