hm. blogger is messed up at the present moment. wow, i am pessemistic. everyone is kinda right. hm. but then am i just that lil happy girl that tries too hard to be happy? sioghs sighs.

when you try to hard to do something you never really succeed. hm./

wow. why are all these koreans and like chinese people that are shown on american idol suck ass? the truth is, we there is skill to asians/oreintals. just becuase someone wishes to show talent in another language does not mean that they don't hae skill. yeah, why is tv sooo white? args. it's so rare to find a black guy in a movie that doesn't die first. you never find an asian that speaks good english. wow. so hypocritical and not kool. hm. args args.

everyone thinks i have a sick mind. maye i do and maybe i don't. hm. i'm going on a mission to write every word in the bible by hand. i don't know. this may help me alot. there is two reasons why i'm doing this. one, because it would probably be the only way that i understand the bible alot better. another one would be that i can understand how others in earlier years felt when they were writting the bible all by hand when there was no printer. args.

tv influences my life alot. hm. i'm going to leave soon. i seem to need to rest alot so that i don't get headaches. lately i've been getting really bad migraines, my sisster says it's due to my level of stress. i really doubt that my stress levels can cause such headaches, but somehow, it does. it's weird. everytime i'm feeling crappy, i get really bad headaches. and whenever i am down, i do get horrible migraines. it's weird how that happens. when i'm nervous, i cough really hard and my lungs seem to hurt alot because of my coughing. also, when i get really nervous, i get very pale.

yeah, i'm one of those people that can fake a fever. i've mastered that skill as a little child. you may say it's not possible to become sick and all, but truth is, i hav.....if i really wanted to become sick, i would. and i do it well. i can rase my temperature just a bit, enuff to make it seem as if i'm having a rising fever. it's weird. this can happen when you really put your mind into doing something or not doing something. it's really really weird how things work.