args......looking at you...makes me think.....did you really use me for all that time?!?!? why didn't you just break up with me the first moment we got together?? that would have spared me the pain i am going through now. i don't want to believe you are a bad person. i don't want to believe that you've allowed yourself to be corrupted. i don't want to believe any of it....i thought i was over you.....but really deep down inside......i'm like....why am i such a fool? why do i continue to love everyone soo much? why must i allow my heart to bleed in such a manor? why must i continually rip the scab off my wound?!?!? WHY?!?! WHY?!?!? args args. i wasn't betrayed by anyone, i betrayed myself. i didn't allow myself to look past my own motives.....sighs sighs....