is it not weird how i incessively write about my thoughts and my days and my plans? even though that i do not intentionally try to, i just do because i'm either bored, happy, upset or mad? i mean, there are more things than to sit by the pc and just look at things on line. but i don't know.

i'm feeling like i'm loosing the connection that i once had with my good friends. but i can't help that feeling. and many times when i should have noticed that our friendship was deminishing, i should have stopped denying it. but now as i sit here and think, about all that i'm missing, i notice that i should have seen signs. i have become a rotten person that only always wishes for better.

i am a human that cannot be satisfied with what i see because i know of better. but i don't think i should demand more because that is not what humans can give. i think when i truly stop hoping to be satisfied will i actually be satisfied. i cannot keep of biting the hand which feeds me.