i've become a mushroom head. keke^^

so even if i didn't recieve many b-day gifts yesterday.....i already have tons and tons of gifts. keke^^ gifts of love. keke^^ it's the lil things in life that make it enjoyable. keke^^ i'm pretty sure if i called jenny she would have said happy b-day too. she never ever forgets my b-day, even though once or twice i have forgotten hers because it's soooo close to the beginning of school. but still, jenny is a total sweetie.

i call alot of people sweeties. but still, sweets can still hurt. but that ain't the point. keke^^ i mean.....i've known my share of meanies too.....but most meanies are just afraid to be sweet because it can hurt. and they are just plain afraid of getting hurt. i don't blame them. they don't want to trust n e one not even themselves because they know nothing is reliable in this world.

but to me.....i find that it's not worth being all upset and never trusting n e one. as i say....i'd always rather hurt feeling then to not hurt at all.

i mean.....i have been suicidal. but the reason for that was because i had stopped feeling. i felt nothing. no pain even though i knew i should feel pain. i felt no happiness even though i had much to be happy about. i felt nothing. and it drove me insane. and so my thoughts drove to dying. but i never succeeded. so yeah. i took it as a sign. that i have better things to do in my life of living on earth. so yah. keke^^

i write alot of thoughts. but it's the summer, i have alot of time to myself. so yeah. keke^^

i just noticed that i don't like twins singing mando. i think it's just queer because i ain't used it. keke^^