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i didn't know what to title this. because it's just a reply of cat's response to my thoughts.

the key word is "world". as a child of GOD, you no longer belong to this world. the opinion of the world and those in it really don't matter. this world isjust simply not important. it's not that you should follow blindly, it's following whole-heartedly. people of this WORLD take advantage of you. but there will and always will be someone who understand you no matter how nice or mean you are. people can take advantage of my love, true love is endless. no matter how much you give, your cup will always be filled again. being mean or nice, you are still human, GOD designed you so that you wouldn't be alone.....soul-mate or just a companion.

yes, you do become disappointed in people, but that's what they simply are; human. you can't harden against that fact. if you are hardening yourself against the fact that human's aren't perfect, you will be constantly fighting with self exsistance. towards many things, i'm very very bitter, i'm not denying that. but the truth always leaves a sour/bitter taste in your mouth.

no matter how much has changed through the past and now......everything is just simply relative. i mean, different crimes may have been seen as less severe or sumthing, but it doesn't mean that times have changed. it's simply how men perceive the crime that has made it seem that the times have changed.

people do have consciences. it may not seem so because there are sooo many people out there that are always constantly using people for their own benefit, but it doesn't mean that they have no heart. if you are saying that some man out there has no heart, it's saying that GOD didn't create him/her. the truth of the matter is, we are GOD's image no matter what. the person could seem completely evil, but he is still created by GOD and therefore, in some likeness of GOD he will be.

there are many reason's for the things we do or the way we think. it doesn't mean that i don't live and see things as it is in the "world". i know views like that exsist. so what if your kindness and nobility is seen as stupidity. all it comes down to is whether or not you can live with yourself. i can't live with myself treating others poorly even if they used me all the time. blah, they reap what they sow. their judgement may not be here on earth, but surely GOD rewards those people too! it comes down to whether or not you did the right thing. so what if people attempt to use me?!?! i swear, even a friend or so called friend could be using you this very instant. being used isn't just simply what they did, it goes back to the motives in their heart. just becuase you don't know their motives for their actions, it doesn't mean that someone isn't using you. so what if caring is a weakness to some people? i've always said that tears come from someone of great stature. someone who cries isn't weak, because it seems weak to the world that it makes it seem as if they are stronger because they ahve something that they care about. i've never been a conformist. i've never liked being a conformist much either. i normally tend to think differently than most people. people either get me and like me, or get me and hate me, or just don't get me at all. if i care, it's my business, i rather care than to let someone die because i didn't. i have never thought showing emotion is weakness. if people use it to their advantage, they reap what they sow. if they use your emotions, they are the weaklings, it's because they don't want to handle with their own and want to mingle and destroy someone else. so what if i don't hate someone just because they've been mean to me or used me?!?!? isn't that simply just living a sad exsistance to hate all that used you and were mean to you? showing that i care doesn't mean i won't retaliate. i am equal to those that use me, i simply just don't choose to become a usuer of other people. by choice, i have not succomb to the level of pathetic human exsistance.

different people do have their different morals. i'm not saying that they don't. simply, i really could care less if someone is using me or not. i just don't let someone make me fall to the total bottom of the pit leaving me helpless. blah, people use people, that's the nature of humans. coping with heartlessness isn't simply to show that you have no heart, no emotion, or simply not being human. there are ways to deal with situations, and then there are those that are just simply better. but each person is different so basically, "whatever floats your boat".

being hurt is a stage in life. we all go through it. we dwell on it once or twice over the course of the year. but there's no reason to continually go turning back to pain over and over again. it only damages us more and more.

i am not niave. i am simply just stubborn. yeah, take that as weakness. take caring as weakness. so yeah, if you want to use me, so do it. whatever. yeah, i used to allow people to come in my life, turn it all upside down. but you know there's a difference b/t loving someone and letting them walk all over you. love is of choice, not simply emotion.

the thing is, i've taken alot of time to think the way i do. and i simply know that alot of people just don't understand my thinking. i care because i would rather care. i love because i would rather love. yeah, it hurts at times to lvoe because it feels like the world is against me, and all i have to say to that is, SO WHAT?!?!?! as a kid, everything i learnt was of pain. i have never been taught a lesson without one. it just feels unatural to learn sumthing without some sort of torture. it's just with the territory you tread. my love is not of weakness. if you say loving is weak, then why the hell do you believe in christ?!?!? he loved you sooo much that he died on the cross for you....so are you saying that's weakness?!?!?

all my life i have been looked down upon, and when i was even looked at, it was because i was smart. i had no friends, and i really do know how to cherish my friends now. as a kid, i knew no better than to hate everyone that seemed mean to me. yeah, it comes down to what the bible says. it says to love those who don't seem to love you. are you not becoming like one of the pegans when you love only those that love you?!?!? love isn't meant to only be given to those who seem to deserve it. love is for everyone, someone who has used you or not.

someone who calls me immature, young, niave just becuase i care is someone that simply just doesn't get me. you have simply jumped to the conclusion that i'm the biggest idiot. and i really don't like that. you think i'm blind and i haven't seen n e thing......you said it yourself...when you came to canada you saw how it felt to be hurt...try living in it the way i did. i am tooo asian to be white, and tooo white to be asian. i'm not really accepted n e where because i will always be somewhat different. i'm christian, and majority of the people i know ain't. it hurts even more when someone seems to be saying i'm immature and stupid because i love others. it really really does. you will never know how much. let's just say that saying that to me is almost like a fatal blow.....

but....i'm not mad at you. i'm just rather hurt in a way, but i understand where you are coming from, so don't worry about it. many people have said the things you've said to me before. i've kinda grown accustomed to the way people think about me. but don't worry....you'll always be my CAT!!!! keke^^:D:P mine and only mine.....j/ks j/ks.