growing up

am i rather mature for my age or am i just simply immature playing the role of being mature?

am i simply just weak or am i just playing the strong one as a weak character?

do i really need to grow up? are my morals wrong? is all that i believe wrong?!?! is nothing i do appreciated? am i not loved? args args.

going through my thoughts through the past two years and a half....and nothing has changed. is it simply because i really know how it feels to be treated like shit your whole life?!?!? is this the reason i love everyone even if they treat me like crap??? is this why i believe that love solves most problems?!?!? but you know what? the bible even says so. the bible says that love solves most problems. and i believe this with all my heart. but it's rather sad, because the rest of the world doesn't see it this way. most people only treat others the way that people treat them.

i lived a sad exsistance. i dwell on the past alot. and dwelling in the past makes me think of ways of how i can avoid certain situations and stuff.

maybe i treat problems differently than most people. maybe i love people a bit more than most people. maybe i simply just care to take that one extra step with you. but people don't see that. they just see the negative sides. they see me as being annoying and bratty. they feel as if i think i know it all and i'm not listening to them. they feel as if i'm forcing them to think the way i do. sighs. do i make you feel like that when i'm stating my opinion? do i make you feel like that you ask for my advice? does it make you feel like that when i simply want to know what's going on?!?!?

is it all my fault that i've started to dig another hole again?!?!?! sighs sighs.