999 cranes

i am unwilling to fold my 1000 crane.....

1000 cranes for me would symbolize change. but what change have i accomplished? nothing in my life has changed yet....

for now....i will take out all my ugly cranes and replace each and every one with a better looking one. so i will have even less than 999 cranes. hahahaha.

i have not accomplished something to signify a new part of my life. actually, while i fold them, many things have changed in my life. i had started to make these cranes in grade 10, while sammy morin was still here. yeah, at that time, i had one person in my mind and my wish was to have him back in my life.....but gradually, as i made them, my mind wandered away and i become at ease with myself. gradually, i made them because i wished that he would not be going to pei.....strictly just friendship, even though at that time, i still liked him, and he didn't like me more than just a friend, maybe just a little less. i gave up on making cranes after i heard he wasn't going and his father decided to stay in canada with them. so yes....i gave up on that dream. i picked up making the cranes when i only had 100 sum odd......and these cranes symbolize something different.

i am hoping these cranes symbolize my hope, my dream, my future, my tomorrow, my everything. i mean, only GOD could mean all those things to me....but.....i am reminding myself that there are better days. i am reminding myself that there are things in the past that are meant to stay in the past. i am reminding myself that tomorrow is a better day.

for now, i will not fold that very last crane....i just can't.....symbolically, folding that last crane will mean nothing because nothing has changed.....