for now, i am going to GOD in prayer again. over and over again, i have cried day after day. nights on end i lay sleepless staring at my ceiling because i want to please my parents, and please myself. and through my prayers, i have found peace. no decision is an easy one. in life, decisions like your future are never easy. sighs sighs. but.....my prayers have given me peace. if i make the choice i want, my parents will not appreciate it. if i don't get what i want, they will be happy. the way i see it, i have no choice. if i want to be happy, i must please my parents. sighs sighs.
val asked me, are you staying close to home so that you can be close to home or to matt? you told me you wanted to be close to matt a while ago. and i told you that was a stupid choice. which one is it?
the thing is, i had wanted to go to mac since i was in grade 8ish. and matt wasn't a factor then. i had always said that guys should never affected the choices i make in life. and yet lately, i had choosen mac because it was close to home, and ultimately close to him.....sighs sighs. sad aye? it's not like we started n e thing, i shoudln't feel so bad for going to guelph.
ultimately, GOD's plan is unforeseeable by humans. so i should have no fear in all that i do. everything will be fine. even though right now i have a broken heart, broken dream, and broken frame of mind, everything will be alright.
why are you afraid of falling in love with me?
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