feeling like shit=.=

well today, i woke up feeling good. but then, on the way to school, i became sooo annoyed and just plain p.o-ed with my own life. args......

i don't know how i'm supposed to feel n e more. i can't hide, and the only way i can, is avoidance. i wonder if i start pulling away and being distant if he'd understand. i feel like shit because of all this. i can't stand liking him and him knowing and him unwilling to do n e thing. i am giving up. there's no reason why i shouldn't n e more. i am feeling like shit and there's no way around it. sighs sighs.

i want to just scream at him and slap him and say, what the hell do you want me to do? ahhhhh. do you think i can pretend that everythign is alright within me? because i clearly do not feel alright. i feel like crap and blah, it's not like anyone gives a fuck.

i get people upset because i openly say i am upset. ahhh.....

my next move, it's pulling away and avoidance. i am changing seats. no text messages. no talking on the phone. not talking on msn. why? because it's taunting me and killing me softly on the inside. him being soooo close and yet so far is eating away at my emotional being.

sighs sighs. feeling like shit......