what now?

well now, i'm sitting in front of my pc, just thinking. people are going to ask what i'm thinking of, but well....maybe it's time that i wait till people and come and ask me. but at that time, i probably would have forgotten what i am thinking at this present moment. hahaha

well for people who do know my situation, what would you do if you were me? how would you react? would you pretend that nothing happened and pretend none of the feelings existed within you? what would you do? i dunno. what now? how can things go back to the way they were before? could they every go back to the way it was before? is that even possible? what happens if i don't want to pretend that nothing happened? what if i don't want things to go back to the future.

hahaha. well now, let's just say that i always end up doing things the way i want. but in a way, i fully understand the error in my courses of action. dunno. what is to happen now? we never really fully discussed all of that. i felt sooo bad for making you feel bad and "thinking" again. i just felt sooo bad. i just wanted to give you a hug and forget all of that ever happened, but i know, nothing will be forgotten. nothing will be shrugged off either of our shoulders. we will remember and think....always.....all the questions of "what if" that and "what if" this. i suppose neither of us will ever know until a risk is taken....but.....dunno....i've made my choice so i'm just sitting here patiently.....

dunno.....right now....things feel alright....but why don't i think it's alright? why are there still all these questions in my head? i suppose the person i need to run to is GOD in prayer and well, obviously you and ask you how you feel about all this....but then again...won't your reaction be the same as before? dunno....

*i wish i could fly away from here unto a place where i could relax my mind and fulfil all my fantasies*