i woke up, suddenly feeling soo gray and disoreinted. life seems so black and white.
nothing is wrong, but nothing is rite.....at least according to the sandards of here
yeah, i'll admite dat time ain't bad, but times ain't all dat great eitha....

tooo many thoughts....just leave meh alone....i want chu to feel happy.....and i know by my unhappiness will leave u feeling frustrated. i don't want you like dat. maybe i really should see a doctor about this....well more like a phsychologist.....it can't be rite to feel soo depressed all the time. it seems to me dat my mission has already been done. arg...but i will never know my message....i love...i hate....i smile....ain't happy....hidden behind a mask of fake emtions. arg.....

leave.....JUST LEAVE!!!!! I SAID LEAVE!!!!!!

today wuz supposed to be a pretty good day, but i didn't enjoy myself.
it wuz my skool spirit day....yeah....we have one of da best skool colors eva.....red, black, and white....i must say....awesome combination....but time and time again....i just yearnedfor something more...
i've been reading a personality book.....more like upon the theory of tempermants. am i so complexed that i am all four at the same time??? i am neither a saguine, a choleric, a melancholy nor am i a phlegmatic. i suppose everyone is all four, but the problem is, i am neither leaning toward one nor the other.

i am emotional, but yet i'm cold, i love but yet i hate....i am self motivated, but lazy. i am strict, but yet very lenient. sighs....i dun make n e sense.

am i happy??? am i unhappy???? am i thoughtless??? or am i thoughtful???

GOD works in amazing ways. I am a christian, but i guess GOD ain't in da center of my lyphe. If i proclaim dat i am CHRISTIAN, should i not feel this way??? da funniest thing is dat many non-christians are even happier den meh. i wanna let go, but i will never be able to.

my memories haunt meh. no words can describe the feeling it causes meh. my past frightens me, but i should be able to release it. i am self centered, i am selfish, just like everyone else out there. I am a liar, i am a sinner. I'm good at what i am, but it is not right. I must change this feeling, i must not be self-centered. My focus on lyphe should be centered around GOD, not me. arg!!!

obsession, confusion, frustration, depression.....arg!!!! going insane...i'm gonna go crazy soon. arg!!! ah!!!!! going crazy....crazy crazy.....arg!!!! i wanna leave....leave...leave forever....but den again..it'll neva happen. arg!!!!

everyone hates meh cause i'm so pessimistic, but den again everyone loves meh cause dey know i need the support. if da world hated meh, i would never be able to live with.