i mean......i feel like crying now....and i suppose i am. i suppose my tears have flown, but i feel soo numb that all the feeling of my limps and body i feel nothing. i mean, waiting for a physical form, i never have the patience for. but waiting emotionally, i can give you all the time in the world. sighs sighs. but the thing is....if choices were based solely on attraction or feelings, then you never based it on anything solid to begin with. sighs.....

my problems are petty problems. sighs sighs. no one actually comes to comprehend why i think the way i think. no one comes to comprehend the reasons why i'm sensitive any more. sighs sighs. i wanna set myself apart from this cold cold harsh world. i don't need a reason to be kind or nice, but obviously, people in this world don't understand. hm. honestly, if the world was mine to give, everyone would have it.

i have no one to confide with except myself. i have no one to run to except myself. yeah, i'm self-centered and self-involved. but is that not the truth. if you never watch for your own bak....there will be no one watchin for yours. you noe what i really don't like? i don't like empty threats. if someone is to scared to do what they say, they shouldn't be saying such shit talk to begin with. i'm sorry, but i really have minimal amounts for those that don't follow up on their words. i mean, when i threaten someone......you better pull me away as fast as possible, because i know i will throw a punch if i said i'd start a fight. everyone noes that i don't just say things. sighs sighs.

now.....i'll just go punch a wall in my sleep now. and i'll go have another talking dream where i'm all frustrated. i suppose no one will actually care. if i keep this up frequently, i think i may need to go to a doctor. i am constantly breaking down. i can't help this. i seem to have no more energy. but as usual, it's stress level rising.

you know, the truth is, i'm not afraid of anything outside of my house. sighs sighs. i think i've figured out why i'm always whimpering in the corner whenever there's a fight in my house....i finally understand. it didn't take you to help me figure it out. obviously you were no help at all. obviously you have ur own problems, and i don't blame you.