it's amazing how things can change. i don't know. jordan asked me if i liked n e one tonight. keke. is it that obvious?!?!? i mean, do i even like him anymore? it's so very confusing about all of this. i don't understand. hm.

yeah, that fries thing really pissed me off really bad. or was it because i was already pissed off? hm. well i don't know. i can't believe i was soo stupid and starting cussing. args, i should never do that again. args args. i must control my anger. args. what happens if i have children and i spased like that? args args.....that's not goo is it?

hm, i haven't spent anytime with anyone lately. hm. i've fallen head over heals for a jerk, and i will heal again yet again. hm. let's see, my former best friends have become nothin more thatn acquaintances. and then there are those that i find that are my enemies. in my life time, i only have one. args. and i don't want to hate him, but everytime i look at him, hear him talk to me, or see someone like him, all i can see is the hate. i want to slap him across the face.

i want to ask over and over again, why am i hated by you? what did i do wrong? why are you so prideful? and i want o say, you were never my friend if you don't understand me now. sighs sighs. it's sad to admit the truth, someone that taught me to grow so much has left me knowing nothing and questioning all of me. how can someone that is so full of hate teach someone like me to love?

hm, common misconception, everyone thinks i'm nice because i want friends. people think i'm nice because they think i want something from them. this can be seen through being on the chat room of aa. yeah, i'm an aa freak, but at this present moment, my pagie is totally blankie ar. sighs sighs.

i'm confused and in need of questioning why people think i'm nice because i want friends. i mean, i have always been the loner in the corner. and i always feel like no one loves me, but i know it's not true. sighs sighs.