Desparate!

sighs sighs.

i laugh at distress and cry at the pleasnatries of life. sighs sighs.

i live a life of sad tolerance. the world doesn't need another one like me. i don't need myself to be the way i am. sighs sighs. it's just not worth it. sighs sighs. nothing is.

sighs sighs.

school isn't made for people like me who need constant reassurance, or every step is a faultering one that only leads to a greater dead end. sighs sighs.

maybe i'm truly feeling such depression because all my classes are sooo full! each and everyone of my classes has at least 32 or 33 people! sighs sighs.

i have never liked to be in a big group of people, it just makes me feel more unwanted than ever. besides that fact, i start hating each and every part of myself. sighs sighs.

i suppose i'll just haveta go to the gym more often to release this tension i feel. sighs sighs, but the gym doesn't work n e more. i simply go there and it makes me feel worst. it actually makes me feel more and more fat. sighs sighs. i am burning fat and toning muscle? or am i simply just building it because i keep on gaining weight? sighs sighs. i feel fat. i need to take a defence class! sighs sighs.