dreams...

i have been sooo out of it since this morning. yeah, right before i had a very weird dream....

args....here is how it goes. i suppose dreams are the substance of man. dreams come from the subconscious of man. dreams are what drives us, something we don't think about. and then pop......my unconscious then becomes my conscious cause i'm thinking about a dream...=.=

here goes...

and so, i'm in a pool with jean...and then suddenly she becomes a new asian chic that i have never seen before. but, while i'm there, it seemed like i knew her like a very good friend. and then suddenly from beyond a forest, my first ex comes by and starts dissing her and i. we bothed looked at each other and both looked completely dumfounded. started laughing, and then the next thing i knew, i was completely changed in a room that had walls the colour of sienna and the chairs were of dark brown leather. or maybe velvet?!? but it doesn't matter, and then sighs....another of my ex's.....sighs......just comes out of a doorway, and he comes by and puts his arm around me. and i was like, "hey, you we're broken up now. what the hell are you doing?" and he's like...."well, we'll see about that". and then he takes his other hand and grabs my hand. args.....it felt sooo real. i could smell him.....=.= his skin was sooo clean....=.= he smelt sooo good=.= why the hell do i still remember this?!?! but n e ways...the way he held my hand was just that way that that......i don't know......that way that we used to.

stupid dreams....sighs....it was sooo weird. but it just felt sooo real. it felt sooo sweet......but why now?!?! why?!?! sighs....plus.....i know it will never happen because i'm going to keep it that way.. plus....i deserve better i suppose. or somebody deserves better may not be i, but whatever.

sighs......and add on to frustration comes confusion....

oh yeah......global news says i am suffering from depression.....=.=