i write alot

wow.....well you see, i think i finally figured out why i write so damned much. it's rather funnay when you think about it. well i really doubt that everyone will take the time to read all my entries. i mean, i could try to set it so that there are less entries on a page, but then again, why would i want to do that? simply on one day, i can write up to ten entries if i simply wanted. but then again, most my thoughts are bullshit and the typical teen shit that no one wants to hear about. simply this blog thingy is an online outlet of the way i feel. i rarely display negative emotions towards something or someone else on here. most times i list my fears, my situation, the way i'm feeling. then there are those odd ball moments where i go beserk and i just can't control myself.

but lately, it's all my troubles, my sorrows, my stupid thoughts. i htink tooo much. and it causes it to be displayed in my outward appearance. blah, i'm starting to look old like a 50 year old....ewww....next thing you know, people will call me an old hag at the age of 20. =.=

well n e whoo.....i write alot cause i think i have a subconscious thought that if i write alot, no one will bother reading the shit that i post. and i suppose subconsciously that's what i'm afraid of. i'm afraid of people getting to know me tooo muchie.

i suppose that's why i don't get tooo personal on here, even though i've posted my name, birthdate, and like personal info on here. blah. me no noe. if someone wanted to get to know me, they may as well just talk to me. i hate when people get to know you through round about methods. you know, when you want to know someone's phone number, birthday, or like email, but you ask their friends first because you are afraid that they will not give it to you. you know....that sort of human fear of rejection? yeah......i suppose that's why i'm afraid of strangers.

oh yeah, i found out that i'm clausterphobic. weird aye? i mean, i'm afraid to be in a confinded space.....or at least one that i can't walk around.....weird aye??? i suppose that really tells you alot about me and very little about me at the same time. you can simply come to the conclusion that i'm one of those people that seems trapped all the time mentally and emotionally, and therefore, when i am physically in that situation, i start freaking......and if you came to that conclusion by yourself....i'm proud of you. keke^^:D:P

now on the other hand, is there like a phobia where a person is afraid of strangers, afraid of human contact? do you think i've been hit one tooo many times as a kid? hm.....i should do a self-analysis on this....but then again, i'd be bias....=.= oh wellz...

keke^^:D:P