sighs....i want to get out of here....but another part of me, a stronger part of me just wants to stay at home and do whatever i can even though there's nothing much that i can do for myself.
i feel sooo vulnerable.
i feel sooo unwanted by others. but, this i know is completely due to my sense of insecurity around strangers.
oh man, i really hope this feeling subsides....
for sucha long time now, i haven't felt like calling n e one. i haven't felt like talking to anyone. i haven't felt like doing anything with or around n e one. but i don't think many have noticed this. most people who come on line, i don't say n e thing....i just can't....i really try....but i just can't come to call or talk or listen. it seems like i'm starting to drown out everything except my own wave patterns. oh yeah, did i tell you i can hear radiation/static/electricity? i don't know why, but for some reason, i can hear a microwave going from like 3 to 4 rooms away...... i can hear my incandecent lights going even when i have the music on. maybe it's normal..... maybe it's not. loud noises hurt my ears and hurts my head. i've grown sensetive to things....even my own voice. sighs.....
as i'm reading what i type now, i don't hear myself. i hear my stupid words coming out of the screen. i don't even know how i can make sentences n e more. blah...args....grrrrr.....egh.....blah....
No comments:
Post a Comment