sighs sighs. i'm tired, i need a nap. sighs sighs. going shopping? sighs sighs. not planning to. want to be free, want to not go home. sighs sighs. but my home doesn't belong n e where here. yeah, getting baptized at christmas time. and maybe it's not my time to tell my parents yet. maybe i shall never tell them until they question me. sighs ishgs. maybe that's my problem, i don't tell them n e thing even though i know i should. maybe it's my fault that my family isn't sticking with the glue that it should be sticking like. sighs sighs. my dad's cranked up the tv volume so he won't hear my mommy yelling. my mommy slammed the door with rage. sighs sighs. i hate this. living in a torn world. maybe that's where i learnt to hide soo well. maybe this is where i learnt to be afraid of everything and everyone. maybe maybe not. sighs sighs. maybe this is where i learnt to hate family. maybe i jsut can't get over the past. maybe my childhood has caused me to despise my parents. abused childhood. yeah, the spanking bit wuz taken just a lil bit too far with the hair pulling, the slaps across the face, the words that i wuz pathetic. maybe.......sighs....memories. sighs sighs..

maybe that's why i've always despised being home. maybe that's why i've always wanted to be somewhere else. sighs sighs. where's the day when memories will be washed and all i have is this outter form? sighs sighs. why ask? i know it's not gonna happen. where's my day of pure true untouched happiness? sighs sighs. certainly it wuzn't with you wuz it? because obviously that day wuz way too short. sighs sighs. maybe it would be even betta for meh to be in a coma or sumthing, then i won't haveta see things or actually live as i'm apart of the world. sighs sighs.....at least then i'm still living, but just barely. sighs sighs....my daddy's driven the car somewhere now. slammed the door. my mommy's starting to yell at meh, sighs sighs, i would yell at myself too. sighs sighs. muhahaha.....i can sing most of the song in japanese now....muhahahah