as the years and months and weeks go past, my thoughts get more stupid and even more stupid. my thoughts become more disoriented in a mannor that is undescribable. sighs sighs......i am just depressed.....and i think i'm bipolar....args....not a good thing...not at all.....

will one day i find my true love?

yeah val, i do agree that love at first site is only lust.......and i'm proud to admit that well.....there's only a few people that agree with me...and one being youz....keke^^

i will endure the pain. i will and i must. i can and i should so i shall. but at times like this, i just feel like o-d-ing myself on like pain killers, cough syrup and alchohol. deadly combination......drop dead in a matter of hours if not minutes. why am i sooo suicidal? why do i allow my thoughts to think of such torment for myself? but then again, i shall never stick my head in an oven and kill myself. keke^^ yes, sylvia plath's dead now, but the tragic thing is, i think she was the way she was all her life. she tormented herself with her own thoughts, pleasures and pains. and i suppose....in many ways.....i'm like her....args. sooo velly velly evil evil. hm. tired....

hayao miyazaki.....