i don't know what has driven me so insane.  but i am.  and well.....unlike what val said.....i do not need a boi.....but maybe i want one......

i do not need someone to boost up my self esteem.  only i can do that.  i am unwilling to talk to strangers.  i am no longer out going.  every quality that people first fell inlove with me has now deteriorated.  if you want the person i am now....this is the person i will be.  i can't help it.  this gloomy out look in life has been with me since the very first memory i actually have.  sighs sighs.  most of my memories....inflicted by the pain and torment others have caused to me.....and pain and torment into which i have inflicted on self because of the thinking that if i enjoy too much now......all i have is gloominess. 

have i already tired out the days of which i would enjoy myself in?  will i spend the rest of my life like this?  will i be a miserable bitch for the rest of my days?  sighs sighs.

my whole family is bytching.  sighs sighs.  everyone is shit talking about everything and everyone else.  sighs sighs. 

i am running out of things to say to those that can actually talk to me.  sighs sighs.  some people want to talk to me....but yet i only answer with one word answers.  sighs sighs.  but well that's what they do to me.  it's just because i'm going antisocial.  i have nothing and everything....sighs sighs.....