there was another confo worth remember from yesterday....but i can't remember anyof it. all i can remember is val telling me that i shouldn't really care what people think of me.....and i was like....i know i shouldn't, but it's so hard. no matter how i try....i just can't. i just don't like these looks people give me. i just don't like it.....and at that point...i remember i almost wanted to cry because i felt so miserable. sighs.

i don't think anything from thise world will ever satisfy this gap in my heart. nothing and no one. sighs sighs. there's only one person that understands me even without me telling him anything. sighs sighs. but at this time....i wish not to speak to anyone. especially not him. cause i feel like every time i do....i only ever talk about my problems. i know he's there when i'm up....and i know he's there when i'm down.....but i never talk to him when i'm up.....and only when i'm down do i really go looking for someone to talk to. why am i so selfish? why amd i so self-centered? why am i so human?