LOVE... what is love????
LOVE....
We think about it.
Sing about it.
Dream about it
Lose sleep worrying about it.
When we don`t have it, we search for it.
When we discover it, we don`t know what to do with it.
When we have it, we fear losing it.
It is the constant source of pleasure and pain, but we can`t predict which it will be from one moment to the next.
It`s a short word, easy to spell, difficult to define, impossible to live without.
Love doesn`t make the world go round.
It`s what makes the ride worthwhile.
You can look all over for love, but you won`t find it cuz you can`t see love you must feel it....
"Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don`t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds. It dies of weariness, of withering, and of tarnishing."
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. LOVE NEVER FAILS."
-the purity of the most simplest of love summed up in a few verses in which i will live by all my life.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
oh oh...
one q before i leave to go do devotionals....does n e one know where i can find a good christian book store that has an intensive amount of books and materials? i mean...i know of 2 in sauga.....and....there just isn't what i'm looking for.....hm....wait...i know three....hm...i suppose i'll be driving to my churchie more than just once this week....i'll go christian book store stuff shopping....muhahahahaha.
but then again....if i'm going alone....i don't think i'll actually be going....
well now i'm off....
be back in about...egh.....an hour and a half? ....maybe.....hahahaha
but then again....if i'm going alone....i don't think i'll actually be going....
well now i'm off....
be back in about...egh.....an hour and a half? ....maybe.....hahahaha
If This World
*wow.....i have sang this song before...but why do i utterly don't remember ever even singing it? sighs. args....i want to find this song and add it to my collection of christian music....but.....i just can't find it...args=.= but yeah....would you be a sweetie and find me this song?^o) it would mean alot to me......*
Jaci Valesquez- If This World
Do you feel you've been disowned
Left outside in the cold
And without a home
Do you think that no cares
That you're lost and alone
And without a prayer?
Don't give in to the lie
That there's no one you can turn to
Don't lose heart, there is hope
There is someone who will never desert you
CHORUS
If this world is a lonely place for you
Fall into the arms of love
If this world is a lonely place for you
There is a God who you can trust
Who'll comfort you and lift you up
Are you looking for a friend
Who will stand by your side
To the very end?
Someone who is always true
To his word be assured
He won't turn from you
Put your faith in the One
Who will never let you down
He has proven his love
Open up to all he has nor you now
REPEAT CHORUS
He hears your cry, He sees your tears
He know your pain and all your fears
He waits for you with open arms
He longs to live inside your heart
You'll never be alone again.
REPEAT CHORUS
Jaci Valesquez- If This World
Do you feel you've been disowned
Left outside in the cold
And without a home
Do you think that no cares
That you're lost and alone
And without a prayer?
Don't give in to the lie
That there's no one you can turn to
Don't lose heart, there is hope
There is someone who will never desert you
CHORUS
If this world is a lonely place for you
Fall into the arms of love
If this world is a lonely place for you
There is a God who you can trust
Who'll comfort you and lift you up
Are you looking for a friend
Who will stand by your side
To the very end?
Someone who is always true
To his word be assured
He won't turn from you
Put your faith in the One
Who will never let you down
He has proven his love
Open up to all he has nor you now
REPEAT CHORUS
He hears your cry, He sees your tears
He know your pain and all your fears
He waits for you with open arms
He longs to live inside your heart
You'll never be alone again.
REPEAT CHORUS
devotionals...
well now....i'm writing a blog.....and well.....I GOTSTA DO MY DEVOTIONAL!!!!! muhahahaha. loosing the passion to do it already. but.....hahahaha.....at least i know i want to now. and i know whenever i want to do something....i do it. hahahaha. unless of course....i am super exhausted and have no energy to do n e thing except sleep. muhahahahaha.
well now.....i promised matt that i would do it....and whether or not i promised him....i should do them n e ways....so yeah....woooooo whooo....
starting to get tired though...since well....i've just finished eating=.= yeeek.....
matt still hasta finish my food and nutrition stuff. man...i feel sooo bad for telling him to do this for me.....BUT....THANKIES SOOO MUCHIE TO HIM if he reads this.
after three hours of me practicing for a presentation.....i still...messed up....but at least well.....i know that i'm alrightees....presenting in front of the class about something that i don't totally know by heart and have no passion for just means i need more practice. as matt said, if three hours wasn't enough...next time, i should try 6. hahahaha. i'm a stumbler....i stumble on my thoughts and words alot....thank goodness arun didn't bombard me with questions and make me cry.....
wow.....i'm very weak in my faith....how can people barf up christianly knowledge like that? how can they be soooo good at reiterating what was said during the sermon?^o) boooo. why am i sooo crappy at stuff like this? why do i not learn what i should know. sighs. why am i sucha horrible person like this...sighs.
well now.....i'm just gonna look above...and well...continue to look forward. i'm not gonna give myself time to feel pity for myself. i will not pity myself. there is nothing to pity myself for. accepted and digested. i am fine. i am not physicaly hurt. i was emotionally hurt....but hey.....that's what being human is all about. it's about trying to get up. it's about the journey and the destination. it's about the faith that we have. it's about the purity of love that consumes our lives and the passion we demonstrate daily. our lives are more about GOD than they should be focuse on us, but hey.....i'm probably offending those without a faith now so it seems.
but these are my thoughts. my feelings. my emotions. and well....if you people think it's stupid to read about my feelings and my thoughts about my feelings.....then....don't bother to talk to me...you'll find me dull. you will find that i am not your "type". if you find that my thoughts are tooo focused on my emotions....then well...get to know me....and you will find....my emotions are very much part of who i am. i am who i am because of most importantly GOD, but, at this present moment, my emotions. i am a logical person.....and sometimes....my emotions consume my thoughts....making it seem to you that it wasn't logical. i hate being hurt....and i dun wanna get hurt again....but i am unafraid to get hurt again....i just hate the feeling.
i hate circumstances. i don't hate people. sighs.....but....maybe i'm being hypocritical when i'm saying this....hm....i mean.....since i am given the choice to love or hate.....i would choose love, but sometimes, nothing in my daily life conveys that i chose love and instead demonstrates all my hate and bitterness. sighs. i can only pray that i will see the world for what it is and not be bitter because of the way it is.
wow....i'm not that sarcastic of a person am i?^o)
well now.....i promised matt that i would do it....and whether or not i promised him....i should do them n e ways....so yeah....woooooo whooo....
starting to get tired though...since well....i've just finished eating=.= yeeek.....
matt still hasta finish my food and nutrition stuff. man...i feel sooo bad for telling him to do this for me.....BUT....THANKIES SOOO MUCHIE TO HIM if he reads this.
after three hours of me practicing for a presentation.....i still...messed up....but at least well.....i know that i'm alrightees....presenting in front of the class about something that i don't totally know by heart and have no passion for just means i need more practice. as matt said, if three hours wasn't enough...next time, i should try 6. hahahaha. i'm a stumbler....i stumble on my thoughts and words alot....thank goodness arun didn't bombard me with questions and make me cry.....
wow.....i'm very weak in my faith....how can people barf up christianly knowledge like that? how can they be soooo good at reiterating what was said during the sermon?^o) boooo. why am i sooo crappy at stuff like this? why do i not learn what i should know. sighs. why am i sucha horrible person like this...sighs.
well now.....i'm just gonna look above...and well...continue to look forward. i'm not gonna give myself time to feel pity for myself. i will not pity myself. there is nothing to pity myself for. accepted and digested. i am fine. i am not physicaly hurt. i was emotionally hurt....but hey.....that's what being human is all about. it's about trying to get up. it's about the journey and the destination. it's about the faith that we have. it's about the purity of love that consumes our lives and the passion we demonstrate daily. our lives are more about GOD than they should be focuse on us, but hey.....i'm probably offending those without a faith now so it seems.
but these are my thoughts. my feelings. my emotions. and well....if you people think it's stupid to read about my feelings and my thoughts about my feelings.....then....don't bother to talk to me...you'll find me dull. you will find that i am not your "type". if you find that my thoughts are tooo focused on my emotions....then well...get to know me....and you will find....my emotions are very much part of who i am. i am who i am because of most importantly GOD, but, at this present moment, my emotions. i am a logical person.....and sometimes....my emotions consume my thoughts....making it seem to you that it wasn't logical. i hate being hurt....and i dun wanna get hurt again....but i am unafraid to get hurt again....i just hate the feeling.
i hate circumstances. i don't hate people. sighs.....but....maybe i'm being hypocritical when i'm saying this....hm....i mean.....since i am given the choice to love or hate.....i would choose love, but sometimes, nothing in my daily life conveys that i chose love and instead demonstrates all my hate and bitterness. sighs. i can only pray that i will see the world for what it is and not be bitter because of the way it is.
wow....i'm not that sarcastic of a person am i?^o)
Monday, May 30, 2005
moodie
well now...grrr.....i am having such massive stinking freaking massive moodswings. me not a happy camper today....crap...i'm probably gonna be massively moody for the rest of the week. i will have massive attitude problems. grrrr.....
i make people feel guilty. i am bitter....but whatever....eventually....i'll become sweet again....and the world will no longer look sooo gloomy and grey. all good.
i think i will fold my 1000th crane now. i think it's time to move on...no matter if i am happy or pissed or sad or depressed. it is time to just look forward and not backwards. it is time to do something new in my life. muhahahaha.....
1000th crane...HERE I COME!!!! NEW LIFE WAITING!!!! HERE I COME!!!!! oh yes.....i'm gonna haveta buy a fishie tank and give em away...but it's alrights....
i make people feel guilty. i am bitter....but whatever....eventually....i'll become sweet again....and the world will no longer look sooo gloomy and grey. all good.
i think i will fold my 1000th crane now. i think it's time to move on...no matter if i am happy or pissed or sad or depressed. it is time to just look forward and not backwards. it is time to do something new in my life. muhahahaha.....
1000th crane...HERE I COME!!!! NEW LIFE WAITING!!!! HERE I COME!!!!! oh yes.....i'm gonna haveta buy a fishie tank and give em away...but it's alrights....
會笑會哭
突然自覺有些喘氣
承受不起的氣管卻沒預備
舊時夜裡每次想到你
就會遍體抽搐得要死
最後才沒有反應 多麼痛也痛得起
若麻木是我的本領
其實應多得你的訓練和耐性
令人受慣挫折轉了性
但我這雙枯乾的眼睛
要是能運作 讓我哭泣 別叫停
＊再沒有感覺 像個空殼
是你的曠世傑作
我被你呼喝 受你杯葛
從前亦曾是快樂＊
＃經已沒法子還原 像最初那天
仍會笑會哭的那天
要是還會覺辛酸
我怎麼去繼續 留低討你厭＃
極懷念大笑怎麼笑
連著咀邊的細胞最近全壞了
舊時罵我怨我都會笑
就當刺心錐骨的撒嬌
你在凌虐我 逗我開心亦不少
REPEAT＊＃＊
經已沒法子還原 像最初那天
仍怕痛怕死的那天
那日行進這深淵
也許早已背叛 良心的判斷
承受不起的氣管卻沒預備
舊時夜裡每次想到你
就會遍體抽搐得要死
最後才沒有反應 多麼痛也痛得起
若麻木是我的本領
其實應多得你的訓練和耐性
令人受慣挫折轉了性
但我這雙枯乾的眼睛
要是能運作 讓我哭泣 別叫停
＊再沒有感覺 像個空殼
是你的曠世傑作
我被你呼喝 受你杯葛
從前亦曾是快樂＊
＃經已沒法子還原 像最初那天
仍會笑會哭的那天
要是還會覺辛酸
我怎麼去繼續 留低討你厭＃
極懷念大笑怎麼笑
連著咀邊的細胞最近全壞了
舊時罵我怨我都會笑
就當刺心錐骨的撒嬌
你在凌虐我 逗我開心亦不少
REPEAT＊＃＊
經已沒法子還原 像最初那天
仍怕痛怕死的那天
那日行進這深淵
也許早已背叛 良心的判斷
Sunday, May 29, 2005
trials and hardships
well i'm supposed to be reading a short story for like english.....it's by kafka....26 sum odd pagies long....but me sooo tired...
well n e whoo....back to procrastinating, well...every person in life goes through hardships and trials. it is meant to be a testing point of all the foundation you have based your own character upon. but somehow.....i don't seem to learn the valuable lessons that i am supposed to learn. i remain stupid. i grow bitter towards the world....it is very grey.....but i make the world into what i want it to be. the world is a me generation. it is about nothing and no one except self. sighs....i must not go into the philosphies of the world. sighs. but n e whoo....
well i'm no longer drop dead angry, i'm a little bit bitter and hurting. and with hurt comes all the sadness and depression. yeah, i can say i am depressed. args....
if i never feel, i would never think. and if i never thought, then i'd be a tool. i wouldn't be a human, i'd be a tool. i'd only do what is required of me and do it to the best of what people want of me. i am much tooo tired to think rationally.
emotions cannot be rationalized. never ever ever. well at least to me n e ways. sighs sighs. many things in the world are meant to make sense in the beginning, but towards the end, they loose it's clarity and impact. emotions on the other hand are things that first appear as senseless....it's only later on that we decipher our emotions and make sense of it later. there is no such thing as rationalizing emotions. and maybe it is your rationalizing of everything in your life that pisses me off. sighs. it is your life. the way you live your life is none of my business. you have made me bitter. much bitter than i had hoped to be. but i am bitter whether i wanted to or not. for now, it seems that i shall walk another ten year in my own shoes before something should make me happy. whatever. no biggie i suppose.....through that time, GOD'll teach me patience....
was talking to brian about rationalizing emotions....since i think this is what is driving me insane... and he's like.....no, you cannot rationalize emotions. no, you should not rationalize emotions. and no, emotions are not the same thing as logic. and because they are different, they cannot and should not be rationalized.
the world is now chaotic. it is a chaotic world. nothing in this world makes sense. it's only through the calamity that we can group a few of them together and try to make sense of it.
wow....bri seems really wise today.....but at least i know someone else agrees with me and i am not alone in all the thoughts that i have thought.
here he goes:
"just think of it this way, trying to rationalize it means overthinking it. and overthinking it shows lack of faith and trust. and if a relationship is like that, then its not strong at all.
therefore.....wow......
well n e whoo....back to procrastinating, well...every person in life goes through hardships and trials. it is meant to be a testing point of all the foundation you have based your own character upon. but somehow.....i don't seem to learn the valuable lessons that i am supposed to learn. i remain stupid. i grow bitter towards the world....it is very grey.....but i make the world into what i want it to be. the world is a me generation. it is about nothing and no one except self. sighs....i must not go into the philosphies of the world. sighs. but n e whoo....
well i'm no longer drop dead angry, i'm a little bit bitter and hurting. and with hurt comes all the sadness and depression. yeah, i can say i am depressed. args....
if i never feel, i would never think. and if i never thought, then i'd be a tool. i wouldn't be a human, i'd be a tool. i'd only do what is required of me and do it to the best of what people want of me. i am much tooo tired to think rationally.
emotions cannot be rationalized. never ever ever. well at least to me n e ways. sighs sighs. many things in the world are meant to make sense in the beginning, but towards the end, they loose it's clarity and impact. emotions on the other hand are things that first appear as senseless....it's only later on that we decipher our emotions and make sense of it later. there is no such thing as rationalizing emotions. and maybe it is your rationalizing of everything in your life that pisses me off. sighs. it is your life. the way you live your life is none of my business. you have made me bitter. much bitter than i had hoped to be. but i am bitter whether i wanted to or not. for now, it seems that i shall walk another ten year in my own shoes before something should make me happy. whatever. no biggie i suppose.....through that time, GOD'll teach me patience....
was talking to brian about rationalizing emotions....since i think this is what is driving me insane... and he's like.....no, you cannot rationalize emotions. no, you should not rationalize emotions. and no, emotions are not the same thing as logic. and because they are different, they cannot and should not be rationalized.
the world is now chaotic. it is a chaotic world. nothing in this world makes sense. it's only through the calamity that we can group a few of them together and try to make sense of it.
wow....bri seems really wise today.....but at least i know someone else agrees with me and i am not alone in all the thoughts that i have thought.
here he goes:
"just think of it this way, trying to rationalize it means overthinking it. and overthinking it shows lack of faith and trust. and if a relationship is like that, then its not strong at all.
therefore.....wow......
愛與誠
其實自己一個更開心 只等你講
其實大家早已嫌大家 卻扮忙
恨有多一點碰撞
然而無聊事幹 不敢打攪對方
要是你願意 誠實講一趟
彼此都起碼覺得釋放
不要哭 我也忍得了這些年來的委曲
沒法真心愛下去 只好真心真意的結束
＊別再做情人
做隻貓 做隻狗 不做情人
做隻寵物至少可愛迷人
和你不瞅不睬 最終只會成為敵人
(和你相交不淺 無謂明日會被你憎)
淪為舊朋友
是否又稱心 沒有心 只像閒人
若有空 難道有空可接吻
註定似過路人陌生 你怎麼手震
(這預告 發自虔誠內心)＊
長期被逼戀愛也真比 失戀更慘
長期扮演若無其事般 更困難
是我專登反應慢
明明為時甚晚 牌一早該要攤
再像我伴侶 凝望多一眼
一生都將會記得今晚
REPEAT＊
對不起 自動分手 錯愕的你怕會傷感
麻木的我 現在也可轉台來賀你新生
REPEAT＊
by this artist....it's my fave song from his.....
其實大家早已嫌大家 卻扮忙
恨有多一點碰撞
然而無聊事幹 不敢打攪對方
要是你願意 誠實講一趟
彼此都起碼覺得釋放
不要哭 我也忍得了這些年來的委曲
沒法真心愛下去 只好真心真意的結束
＊別再做情人
做隻貓 做隻狗 不做情人
做隻寵物至少可愛迷人
和你不瞅不睬 最終只會成為敵人
(和你相交不淺 無謂明日會被你憎)
淪為舊朋友
是否又稱心 沒有心 只像閒人
若有空 難道有空可接吻
註定似過路人陌生 你怎麼手震
(這預告 發自虔誠內心)＊
長期被逼戀愛也真比 失戀更慘
長期扮演若無其事般 更困難
是我專登反應慢
明明為時甚晚 牌一早該要攤
再像我伴侶 凝望多一眼
一生都將會記得今晚
REPEAT＊
對不起 自動分手 錯愕的你怕會傷感
麻木的我 現在也可轉台來賀你新生
REPEAT＊
by this artist....it's my fave song from his.....
semi-bruised knuckes
args args args....sighs sighs....my knuckes are kinda bruised up.....yeah....punched the wall closest to my pc yesterday....but yeah....guess where she punched....the stupid metal bar that aligns both peices of dry wall together=.= args....yeah...i'm sucha big fucking oaf=.= args=.=
some guys just don't ever take the risk, but, there is degree anti-persprant for those that do. hahaha. that commercial makes me laugh my ass off...hahaha...but i only agree to the first line of the entire commercial...sighs....
feeling really shitty.....and....my right hand kinda pinches every time i type with my third and fourth finger.....args.....yeah...it's supposed to rain today....my ankles are hurting=.=
sorry for the following profanity.....but....i need to get all my screams and frustration out.....sighs sighs....please ignore since they have absolutely no meaning whatesoever......
on second thought...what kinda image to i give myself for typing profanities over and over again?? sighs sighs....i'm just hurt and i want it all to go away.....sighs sighs....
some guys just don't ever take the risk, but, there is degree anti-persprant for those that do. hahaha. that commercial makes me laugh my ass off...hahaha...but i only agree to the first line of the entire commercial...sighs....
feeling really shitty.....and....my right hand kinda pinches every time i type with my third and fourth finger.....args.....yeah...it's supposed to rain today....my ankles are hurting=.=
sorry for the following profanity.....but....i need to get all my screams and frustration out.....sighs sighs....please ignore since they have absolutely no meaning whatesoever......
on second thought...what kinda image to i give myself for typing profanities over and over again?? sighs sighs....i'm just hurt and i want it all to go away.....sighs sighs....
selfish
and well....maybe i have just been selfish. i want everything to be as easy as i want it to be. no no....it's not an "i think" issue, it actually is. if being selfish is to be self concerned and only self concerned, i admit....sometimes i am. and maybe this is why i am upset. all my problems are caused by me. everyone understands why i feel sooo shitty these days. eveyrone understands that when i'm frustrated, when i'm upset, when i'm depressed, when i am truly happy, my reaction is to cry. but they don't understand why i have cried for sooo long. and in the same way....i don't understand why i am sooo upset....args...goin to take off contacts....pissing the heck outta me.....grrrrrr
well yes.....i wonder if i am actually doing n e thing today....because well.....if not....i'm gonna take a shower and sleep and just forget about all my plans and cry for the entire night....
i still feel shitty now.....church....wasn't bad today......but i still feel like crying. sighs sighs. i couldn't focus on the sermon. my mind just kept on going like, why can't i see it for myself. why can't i see it? why is it sooo clear to him? why can't i accept his fucking reason? why don't i understand and accept? is there a reason why i'm tormenting myself for this? why am i blaming myself? all throughout sermon i was holding back tears. why can't i let go? is there a reason why i can't let go? sighs sighs.
i almost started whacking myself in the head a few hundred times because i wanted these thoughts to get out. sighs.....i think i'm gonna sign myself up to go into an insane assylum if i start whacking myself....ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. sighs....
even my smiles bring me tears...sighs sighs...
well yes.....i wonder if i am actually doing n e thing today....because well.....if not....i'm gonna take a shower and sleep and just forget about all my plans and cry for the entire night....
i still feel shitty now.....church....wasn't bad today......but i still feel like crying. sighs sighs. i couldn't focus on the sermon. my mind just kept on going like, why can't i see it for myself. why can't i see it? why is it sooo clear to him? why can't i accept his fucking reason? why don't i understand and accept? is there a reason why i'm tormenting myself for this? why am i blaming myself? all throughout sermon i was holding back tears. why can't i let go? is there a reason why i can't let go? sighs sighs.
i almost started whacking myself in the head a few hundred times because i wanted these thoughts to get out. sighs.....i think i'm gonna sign myself up to go into an insane assylum if i start whacking myself....ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. sighs....
even my smiles bring me tears...sighs sighs...
another stolen entry
well......i just love cat's entries.....and i give credite to her.....this post is hers too. *shivers* hope she doesn't kill me for posting it on my site too.....*shivers* but i know she won't kill me....she just summed up everything that i'm thinking right now soooo well.....i do not have the eloquence to string words in the way she did.....gonna tweak some of the words so it sounds more sabbyish....
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Appearances are not here to stay...
Materialistic grants are not everlasting...
Intelligence does not mean it is ethical...
There have been people in my life that are or were only attracted to materialistic satisfaction...
It is easy to be attracted to someone's appearance, wealth, intelligence or profession...
But as your relationship progresses to the next stage, there must be something more than just surfacial qualities that attracts you to him/her. That is if, you want this relationship to last.
She/he can't look as good as she/he are now forever. Everyone will grow old.
There is no guarantee that she/he will not meet any financial problems...Does this mean when $=0 then Love=0?
She/he may have a good profession, but it does not mean that she/he has a good heart.
She may be dressed with the most up to date fashion needs everytime you see her, he may bring you to dine at the most exquisite restaurants everytime you date...but when in a crisis, and fails to attract you...is it over?
There must be something that still attracts you in a crisis!
Look deeper in a person...people hate to change. A person's personality and character is instilled in her/him since youth...
A person's personality determines how she/he is going to treat you...
A person's character determines how she/he is going to overcome a crisis with you.
When surfacial satisfaction subsides to the bottom of the list, and you get attracted to the person for who he/she is...you will realize, that you will be so much more happier...
I realized that the more I get to know his personality, the more I get attracted to him...
appreciate the beauty of someone...
and you will realize that you will stop judging him/her...and you will be satisfied because you are attracted to him/her for who he/she actually is. not what you want him/her to be...
Have you found someone like that yet?
---------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Appearances are not here to stay...
Materialistic grants are not everlasting...
Intelligence does not mean it is ethical...
There have been people in my life that are or were only attracted to materialistic satisfaction...
It is easy to be attracted to someone's appearance, wealth, intelligence or profession...
But as your relationship progresses to the next stage, there must be something more than just surfacial qualities that attracts you to him/her. That is if, you want this relationship to last.
She/he can't look as good as she/he are now forever. Everyone will grow old.
There is no guarantee that she/he will not meet any financial problems...Does this mean when $=0 then Love=0?
She/he may have a good profession, but it does not mean that she/he has a good heart.
She may be dressed with the most up to date fashion needs everytime you see her, he may bring you to dine at the most exquisite restaurants everytime you date...but when in a crisis, and fails to attract you...is it over?
There must be something that still attracts you in a crisis!
Look deeper in a person...people hate to change. A person's personality and character is instilled in her/him since youth...
A person's personality determines how she/he is going to treat you...
A person's character determines how she/he is going to overcome a crisis with you.
When surfacial satisfaction subsides to the bottom of the list, and you get attracted to the person for who he/she is...you will realize, that you will be so much more happier...
I realized that the more I get to know his personality, the more I get attracted to him...
appreciate the beauty of someone...
and you will realize that you will stop judging him/her...and you will be satisfied because you are attracted to him/her for who he/she actually is. not what you want him/her to be...
Have you found someone like that yet?
---------------------------------------------------
ten rules fo lasting relationship
stealing entries from cat=.= should really stop this...but i thought it was really cute...muhahahahaha.....was ubber cute...muhahaha
Ten Rules for a lasting relationship
1. Never both be angry at the same time.
2. Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.
3. If one of you has to win an argument, let it be your mate.
4. If you must criticize, do it lovingly.
5. Never bring up mistakes of the past.
6. Neglect the whole world rather than each other.
7. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.
8. At least once every day say a kind or complimentary word to your life partner (but be sure to mean it).
9. When you have done something wrong, admit it and ask for forgiveness.
10. Remember it takes two to make a quarrel.
Ten Rules for a lasting relationship
1. Never both be angry at the same time.
2. Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.
3. If one of you has to win an argument, let it be your mate.
4. If you must criticize, do it lovingly.
5. Never bring up mistakes of the past.
6. Neglect the whole world rather than each other.
7. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.
8. At least once every day say a kind or complimentary word to your life partner (but be sure to mean it).
9. When you have done something wrong, admit it and ask for forgiveness.
10. Remember it takes two to make a quarrel.
Saturday, May 28, 2005
my oh my....
muhahahaha....
LEO
The Bottom Line
What's really at stake here? If it's a matter of pride, consider pushing it aside.
In Detail
Forget about your friends -- just for now. At the moment, you need more than platonic company. You need to hold hands, snuggle up and exchange compliments with someone who loves you as much as you love them. If you already know a person who fits that description, go find them. If not, start looking for a new future snuggling partner. Your friends will be more than happy to excuse you for the evening.
LEO
The Bottom Line
What's really at stake here? If it's a matter of pride, consider pushing it aside.
In Detail
Forget about your friends -- just for now. At the moment, you need more than platonic company. You need to hold hands, snuggle up and exchange compliments with someone who loves you as much as you love them. If you already know a person who fits that description, go find them. If not, start looking for a new future snuggling partner. Your friends will be more than happy to excuse you for the evening.
bleh
well now......i think i need to go and eat some stuff....sighs sighs.....but i'm not hungeee....but i know i should still eat....sighs sighs....
still feeling bad...sighs sighs....still hurting.....
long discussion, and i think i can do my devotions now....feeling alot better now.....well at least calmer n e ways. feeling pretty bad still...but trying to focus on being happy.
i want to hate, i want to love, i want to stay, i want to move on.....i don't know what to do n e more...
crappers....my mommy knows something is wrong because i passed down an opportunity to go shopping....sighs......
still feeling bad...sighs sighs....still hurting.....
long discussion, and i think i can do my devotions now....feeling alot better now.....well at least calmer n e ways. feeling pretty bad still...but trying to focus on being happy.
i want to hate, i want to love, i want to stay, i want to move on.....i don't know what to do n e more...
crappers....my mommy knows something is wrong because i passed down an opportunity to go shopping....sighs......
DEPECHE MODE- tainted love
Sometimes I feel I've got to
Run away I've got to
Get away
From the pain that you drive into the heart of me
The love we share
Seems to go nowhere
And I've lost my light
For I toss and turn I can't sleep at night
Chorus
Once I ran to you (I ran)
Now I'll run from you
This tainted love you've given
I give you all a boy could give you
Take my tears and that's not nearly all
Oh...tainted love
oh...Tainted love
oh...Tainted love
oh...Tainted love
oh...Tainted love
Tainted love
Tainted love
Now I know I've got to
Run away I've got to
Get away
You don't really want any more from me
To make things right
You need someone to hold you tight
And you think love is to pray
But I'm sorry I don't pray that way
Repeat chorus
Don't touch me please
I cannot stand the way you tease
I love you though you hurt me so
Now I'm going to pack my things and go
Tainted love, tainted love (x2)
Touch me baby, tainted love (x2)
Tainted love (x3)
Run away I've got to
Get away
From the pain that you drive into the heart of me
The love we share
Seems to go nowhere
And I've lost my light
For I toss and turn I can't sleep at night
Chorus
Once I ran to you (I ran)
Now I'll run from you
This tainted love you've given
I give you all a boy could give you
Take my tears and that's not nearly all
Oh...tainted love
oh...Tainted love
oh...Tainted love
oh...Tainted love
oh...Tainted love
Tainted love
Tainted love
Now I know I've got to
Run away I've got to
Get away
You don't really want any more from me
To make things right
You need someone to hold you tight
And you think love is to pray
But I'm sorry I don't pray that way
Repeat chorus
Don't touch me please
I cannot stand the way you tease
I love you though you hurt me so
Now I'm going to pack my things and go
Tainted love, tainted love (x2)
Touch me baby, tainted love (x2)
Tainted love (x3)
cat's blog
was reading cat's blog just now....and this is what it says...
Random Thoughts
Do you know what kind of life you want to live?
Do you know what kind of person you want to spend the rest of your life with?
Do you know what you want in life?
But most of the time, when you are truly happy,
you will realize that the elements that contribute are not what you wanted initially...
sighs sighs.....*gone to corner to cry*
Random Thoughts
Do you know what kind of life you want to live?
Do you know what kind of person you want to spend the rest of your life with?
Do you know what you want in life?
But most of the time, when you are truly happy,
you will realize that the elements that contribute are not what you wanted initially...
sighs sighs.....*gone to corner to cry*
prayers
blah. now i have people praying for me. they can't help my problem, my anger, my hate. ahhhh.....i just wanna say screw all the prayers. screw them all. i know it isn't right....and i'm just saying that because i'm angry. i just want to sit in a corner and mope around all day. but i know i need to go out.....but not with him. what happened to the power of prayer? why can a message supposedly sent by GOD be sooo clear to someone and not to the other person it involves? why can't i see it? why not? going out with him alone will cause tooo many problems. i see that now. it's because we are alone all the time that it caused me to think of the what if's, and, or, maybes. sighs. i can't n e more. i can't even pretend. if he can live with himself.....fine fine fine fine fine fine!!!!!
i am still pissed, but i need to do something to get me to stop feeling sooo pissed. i just want to cry. at the same time....i want the world or just someone to give me comfort, but then on the other hand, i want no one or n e one. i want to be isolated and left to my own destructive nature. i will end up tearing myself down and maybe just maybe successfully rebuilding myself again.
i am filled with sooo much negative passion. i want to destroy everything in site. i wanted to just pull my keyboard and throw it across the room. but why inflict pain on something that obviously won't feel it? it's a waste of time. but then again, why would i want to be the one that inflicts pain on n e living creature or person.
i am pissed....i am still crying.
i haven't been doing my daily devotions....just couldn't....i picked up my bible yesterday.....i almost broke the window. why am i filled with sooo much hate? why am i acting like a little girl having a tantrum problem? why do i feel sooo shitty and soooo angry? why do i feel like curling up in a book and crying? sighs sighs.
Why is it that whenever n e thing bad happens, my first response is to hate? WHY WHY WHY?!?!?!?!
i just want to hurt you. i just want to destroy the world. i just want to feel better. *going to corner to cry*
i am still pissed, but i need to do something to get me to stop feeling sooo pissed. i just want to cry. at the same time....i want the world or just someone to give me comfort, but then on the other hand, i want no one or n e one. i want to be isolated and left to my own destructive nature. i will end up tearing myself down and maybe just maybe successfully rebuilding myself again.
i am filled with sooo much negative passion. i want to destroy everything in site. i wanted to just pull my keyboard and throw it across the room. but why inflict pain on something that obviously won't feel it? it's a waste of time. but then again, why would i want to be the one that inflicts pain on n e living creature or person.
i am pissed....i am still crying.
i haven't been doing my daily devotions....just couldn't....i picked up my bible yesterday.....i almost broke the window. why am i filled with sooo much hate? why am i acting like a little girl having a tantrum problem? why do i feel sooo shitty and soooo angry? why do i feel like curling up in a book and crying? sighs sighs.
Why is it that whenever n e thing bad happens, my first response is to hate? WHY WHY WHY?!?!?!?!
i just want to hurt you. i just want to destroy the world. i just want to feel better. *going to corner to cry*
Friday, May 27, 2005
anger
today, at the present moment....i feel like crying....i feel like slapping and punching and kicking and screaming. i feel like yelling and shouting. i feel like running and freezing. i feel tired, but very lively and full of energy. i just want to cry...sighs sighs....
ahhhhhh.....as of right now....i am pissed off......just really really really ticked off.......i just feel like running to a corner and crying=.=
ahhhhhh.....as of right now....i am pissed off......just really really really ticked off.......i just feel like running to a corner and crying=.=
pulling away
i have made my decision, and it is final. after tomorrow....i see no point in putting myself through ups and downs like this. i am simply just goingto pull away and focus on other people and other things. i feel like shit at the present moment. i feel like going to the park and screaming out my lungs. i missed school today....and mr. rennie marked me absent and i still got a fucking call home. fuck it....ahhhh....the first words out of my mouth in anger is swearing=.= what the hell. args....my inner anger is more than i thought it was.....sheeeeeeet.....
IN MY ANGER DO NOT SIN......
IN MY ANGER DO NOT SIN......
IN MY ANGER DO NOT SIN......
IN MY ANGER DO NOT SIN......
IN MY ANGER DO NOT SIN......
IN MY ANGER DO NOT SIN......
IN MY ANGER DO NOT SIN......
IN MY ANGER DO NOT SIN......
IN MY ANGER DO NOT SIN......
AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! i am going crazy with rage....ahhhhhh.....
i'm just sooo pissed off at one person right now.....and i don't even know why.....but yeah...i just wanna cry....sighs....
soooo fucking pissed offff......args.....
IN MY ANGER DO NOT SIN......
IN MY ANGER DO NOT SIN......
IN MY ANGER DO NOT SIN......
IN MY ANGER DO NOT SIN......
IN MY ANGER DO NOT SIN......
IN MY ANGER DO NOT SIN......
IN MY ANGER DO NOT SIN......
IN MY ANGER DO NOT SIN......
IN MY ANGER DO NOT SIN......
AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! i am going crazy with rage....ahhhhhh.....
i'm just sooo pissed off at one person right now.....and i don't even know why.....but yeah...i just wanna cry....sighs....
soooo fucking pissed offff......args.....
crappiness
well....i have decided how i think i want to react. oh...muhahahaha.....i think 2 weeks of denial has finally set in. i am freaking frustrated and mad and upset now. i am really really really mad.....at what? at everything. i kinda was really impatient with my mommy today. i was sooo tired. i feel like moping around at home....well....i have pretty muchie everything in order now....just gonna give the content pagie to matt. muhahahaha.
contacts....woooo whoooo....it took 3 seconds to put them in today!!!! woooo whoooo
i just feel like crying because of frustration. i am going back to ignore and pretending people don't exist. going to pretend that i have no emotions. i must pretend that i don't care and i am happy. i just want to stop feeling....sighs sighs....sighs sighs.....
contacts....woooo whoooo....it took 3 seconds to put them in today!!!! woooo whoooo
i just feel like crying because of frustration. i am going back to ignore and pretending people don't exist. going to pretend that i have no emotions. i must pretend that i don't care and i am happy. i just want to stop feeling....sighs sighs....sighs sighs.....
Thursday, May 26, 2005
crappines
ahhhhh.....hamilton has reopened it's art gallery!!!! oh...I WANNA GO!!!! yeah, but then again, i dunno why i like to look at people's art these days.....
ewwww....this weekend is supposed to be stinky and wet. sighs sighs. think i'll go to the gym tomorrow night.
feeling pretty shitty right now. sighs sighs. i am hungreee....didn't eat much all day. yeah, some people will say i am anorexic.....bleh......
i am not.....i am just not hungry....
gotsta do my devotions for tonight....not a drag....i should....just openly reminding myself...hm...i think i will eat a yam...muhahahaha...
ewwww....this weekend is supposed to be stinky and wet. sighs sighs. think i'll go to the gym tomorrow night.
feeling pretty shitty right now. sighs sighs. i am hungreee....didn't eat much all day. yeah, some people will say i am anorexic.....bleh......
i am not.....i am just not hungry....
gotsta do my devotions for tonight....not a drag....i should....just openly reminding myself...hm...i think i will eat a yam...muhahahaha...
yum yum
gotsta buy better sun glasses....me sooo very very hungeee=.= args....20 dollars down the drain...muhahahaha...
how fun....muhahahaha...
hungeeeee...muhahahahah...but....then again...i'm not very hungeee at all ...meh....
what did i have for din din yesterday??? oh...i remember......fried rice....
how fun....muhahahaha...
hungeeeee...muhahahahah...but....then again...i'm not very hungeee at all ...meh....
what did i have for din din yesterday??? oh...i remember......fried rice....
egh.....
my goodness...my teacher talks to herself in class while all her students are listening to her.....XSXS it's weird... *shivers*
yupz yupz....contacts to school for the very first day. args....i don't like the way it feels on my left eye=.= args=.= ewwww=.= but it's alrights. no problems.
muhahahaha/....wow....there is like a month of school left....and then....summer holidays!!! and the UNI!!!!! sighs....i wanted to go to mac...sighs sighs.
yes....apparently, everyone thinks i am utterly stupid. sighs sighs. it's because i am going into an art category...everyone thinks i am wasting my life, time and money. sighs sighs. i am not. i know that this is what i wanted to do since grade nine. so yeah. people can just go kiss my ass when they call me a freaking waste of time. so yeah.... args...
my stupid contact is really actually pissing me off......and i know i didn't put it in wrong because this time, i made sure....meh.....whatever.....school will finish really quickly. hm....oh wellz....no problems....i can live with the annoyance....
i am very very tired=.= args args=.=
ahhh....can't drink milk=.= ewwww..... puss filled milk....ewwww....ewwww....
me tired=.=
yupz yupz....contacts to school for the very first day. args....i don't like the way it feels on my left eye=.= args=.= ewwww=.= but it's alrights. no problems.
muhahahaha/....wow....there is like a month of school left....and then....summer holidays!!! and the UNI!!!!! sighs....i wanted to go to mac...sighs sighs.
yes....apparently, everyone thinks i am utterly stupid. sighs sighs. it's because i am going into an art category...everyone thinks i am wasting my life, time and money. sighs sighs. i am not. i know that this is what i wanted to do since grade nine. so yeah. people can just go kiss my ass when they call me a freaking waste of time. so yeah.... args...
my stupid contact is really actually pissing me off......and i know i didn't put it in wrong because this time, i made sure....meh.....whatever.....school will finish really quickly. hm....oh wellz....no problems....i can live with the annoyance....
i am very very tired=.= args args=.=
ahhh....can't drink milk=.= ewwww..... puss filled milk....ewwww....ewwww....
me tired=.=
blogger
muhahahaha. well now, lately i just haven't been writing in my blog as often as i used to. muhahaha. i have a few things args.....stupid little thingy needs to restart in a few mins=.= ewwwwwww grrrrrr
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
gyming
not today....will tomorrow....got called fat again=.= sighs sighs.....going into the corner to cry.....sighs sighs,......
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
hyper
i am sooo happy today. for some reason, i don't know. i just am sooo happy.
I'm sooo happy that i have someone that urges me to pursue a deeper relationship with GOD. but, i must learn to never be mad at GOD even if i am disappointed. i must learn to be thankful of any situation even though there seems to be no hope whatsoever. yes.....journal.....wow....i write alot....muhahahaha. wish coiled notebooks had more variety when it came to the colour of the covers=.= muhahahaha. i haven't felt sooo happy and satisfied in such a long time.
i haven't felt sooo pleased in such a long time. for once in my life, i woke up really hyped up about doing devotions. i know that some time in my life, down the road, doing devotions may be a struggle because i no longer have the feeling of like doing something new. but....does that really matter? i know that i would probably stop doing them when something goes wrong in my life. but i must learn to be satisfied with all the joy and all the pain in my life. that's just what life is. there are ups and there are downs. no one grows if it were simply just happiness. humans were designed to be able to tolerate pain. it is how you tolerate it that in the end teaches you to be a better person.
ahhhh.....beyond satisfied......
*hugs*
I'm sooo happy that i have someone that urges me to pursue a deeper relationship with GOD. but, i must learn to never be mad at GOD even if i am disappointed. i must learn to be thankful of any situation even though there seems to be no hope whatsoever. yes.....journal.....wow....i write alot....muhahahaha. wish coiled notebooks had more variety when it came to the colour of the covers=.= muhahahaha. i haven't felt sooo happy and satisfied in such a long time.
i haven't felt sooo pleased in such a long time. for once in my life, i woke up really hyped up about doing devotions. i know that some time in my life, down the road, doing devotions may be a struggle because i no longer have the feeling of like doing something new. but....does that really matter? i know that i would probably stop doing them when something goes wrong in my life. but i must learn to be satisfied with all the joy and all the pain in my life. that's just what life is. there are ups and there are downs. no one grows if it were simply just happiness. humans were designed to be able to tolerate pain. it is how you tolerate it that in the end teaches you to be a better person.
ahhhh.....beyond satisfied......
*hugs*
happy
muhahahahaha....HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!!!!XPXPXPX
dunno what is up with tuesday, but today....i feel great....muhahahaha. haven't felt sooo great in sucha long time....ahhhh...
HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY
dunno what is up with tuesday, but today....i feel great....muhahahaha. haven't felt sooo great in sucha long time....ahhhh...
HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY
Monday, May 23, 2005
In Love Again (我這樣愛你)
When you smile
my life becomes a ray of light
sing me a lullaby to sleep at midnight
I'll be hypnotized
when looked into your eyes
turn off the room light
let's spend the night
＊Take me to far away
Away to your secret place
Take my tears my fears
Take all my pain for which
I'll repay Someday with a kiss and say
Can't believe that I'm in love
in love again＊
When the stars don't shine
And when the birds don't fly
And when the flowers cry
And when the rain runs dry
When the violet's red
and when the rose turn blue
Baby I'll still be in love with you
REPEAT＊＊
my life becomes a ray of light
sing me a lullaby to sleep at midnight
I'll be hypnotized
when looked into your eyes
turn off the room light
let's spend the night
＊Take me to far away
Away to your secret place
Take my tears my fears
Take all my pain for which
I'll repay Someday with a kiss and say
Can't believe that I'm in love
in love again＊
When the stars don't shine
And when the birds don't fly
And when the flowers cry
And when the rain runs dry
When the violet's red
and when the rose turn blue
Baby I'll still be in love with you
REPEAT＊＊
muhahah
no, i haven't done my devotional yet for the day.....XSXSXS i woke up and looked at my bible today...and i was like....sighs.....i'll do it later=.= and by saying that....i have put GOD aside once again=.= sighs sighs. going to get right on it after this entry....feeling tooo bad.....wanting to spend time with my lovely b-i-b-l-e and ultimately, GOD of course. muhahahaha.
well yeah, was reading my old journal entries before this blog...wow.....i think i can finally understand. i can finally put all my feelings aside and focus on the reason.....and the reason is me....i am not "sing sook" enough.....what's that word....ah....here we go...mature. i still have much to learn. well. waiting for matt to come back to share the news. muhahahah. well...it's enlightenment for me....but i wonder if he'll be as happy as i was to find out news about myself.
cried last night....i couldn't help it. but i did. i cried like there was no tomorrow. i cried sooo long...i cried sooo hard. blah....but....i'm super happy now.
i just want someone to put their arms around me and say that everything will be alright. but in a way.
felt like writing part HIS sermon on the mount....so yeah.....
Blessed are the poor in spirit,
.....for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
.....for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
.....for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
.....for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
.....for they will be show mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
.....for they will see GOD.
Blessed are peacemakers,
.....for they will be called the sons of GOD.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
.....for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and faulsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
well yeah....on to my devotion now....see you all in a little while....*hugs*
well yeah, was reading my old journal entries before this blog...wow.....i think i can finally understand. i can finally put all my feelings aside and focus on the reason.....and the reason is me....i am not "sing sook" enough.....what's that word....ah....here we go...mature. i still have much to learn. well. waiting for matt to come back to share the news. muhahahah. well...it's enlightenment for me....but i wonder if he'll be as happy as i was to find out news about myself.
cried last night....i couldn't help it. but i did. i cried like there was no tomorrow. i cried sooo long...i cried sooo hard. blah....but....i'm super happy now.
i just want someone to put their arms around me and say that everything will be alright. but in a way.
felt like writing part HIS sermon on the mount....so yeah.....
Blessed are the poor in spirit,
.....for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
.....for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
.....for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
.....for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
.....for they will be show mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
.....for they will see GOD.
Blessed are peacemakers,
.....for they will be called the sons of GOD.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
.....for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and faulsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
well yeah....on to my devotion now....see you all in a little while....*hugs*
Sunday, May 22, 2005
the one...
This is a list that i found that was ubber cute when i was reading it....
you know you have found a keeped when:
- A person that calls you beautiful, instead of hot.
- A person calls you back when you hang up on them.
- A person who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
- A person who kisses your forehead
- A person who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats
- A person who holds your hand in front of his friends
- A person who thinks you're just as gorgeous without makeup on.
- A person who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you & how lucky he is to have you.
- A person who turns to his friends and says, ".. That`s her."
oh.....shi bu shi hun ke ai de? awww...shucks....ain't that just sooo cute.....
oh.....sighs.....waiting to find the one....
tired, moody, and in pain=.=
well now....itred.....i think i'm gonna call it a night at 9. i'm just way tooo tired=.= sighs sighs. my sister just came home from watching star wars. muhahahaha. her bf always pays for everything for her. it's cute. hahahaha. well now....meh....no biggie.
muhahahaha......and so.....i decided not to tell n e one of my plans for next saturday.....i just hope i won't be disappointed. i mean, i said i wouldn't hope or look forward to n e thing....but guess what? i lied. muhahahah. i am very much looking forward to doing something this up coming saturday. muhahaha....i have finished most of my projects this week so i could go. so yeah....muhahahaha. i thought it was important enough. muhahaha.
but yeah....args=.= apparently, when i sing, i slur my words=.= args.....have to learn to pronounce my words more clearly....gotsta read out loud without sluring=.= well.....hahaha.....the only reason why people don't complain about my voice is that they have always complimented me on the way i sing. muhahaha....does any one want a sample of sabby singing ma? muhahahaha. gotsta stop slurring words=.= apparently i looked cute today....what can i say? i'm a child-like character. i used to hate being called cute but...whateve.....better than being called ugly. muhahahaha.
well.....gotsta plan and do the rest of my hmwk now...gotsta write a stupid research article....no longer than two pagies=.= what the hell shall i write about?^o)
meh.....no worries.....i'll figure it out...muhahahaha.
my stomache hurts soooo bad=.= tummy ache=.= ate some super spice beef oodles=.= now me like in total utter pain....
*there will be nothing that i will be afraid of*
bleh...gotsta work on magazine.....gotsta work on bio...but i have 3 q's for bio.....and i am still wondering what i will write for that research article.
wow.....i have alot of angst music on my pc....what the hey? when did i d/l all this music?
yeah.....chinese music sang by guys normally sounds sooo femenine=.= *shivers* but....muhahahaha...that's cause most chinese guys are wannabe's...and they make it because they are cute/hot whether or not they can sing...they learn to sing....
i wanna become a SUPERSTAR!!!!! muhahaha...but in order for that to happen, i haveta like go back to hk....and that's no fun...don't wanna live the hk life of materialism....i love my life in canada...even though it seems that i don't fit in n e crowd. i am tooo white to be fobby...tooo fobby to be white.....so what am i? i'm a SABINA!!!!! muhahahahaha. I MAKE MY OWN WAY!!!!! I MAKE MY OWN LIFE!!!! yes....there are restrictions, but those are MY restricts.
no such thing as a good goodbye. no such thing as an easy break up...even if it's mutual, it's not easy. there is no such thing as being unable to feel...being numb is still a feeling. well technically...the only way to not feel n e thing is if you had no nerves....and if you were made without emotions you wouldn't have feeling...but let's just not go there.
devotion today.....beatitudes....for some reason....no matter how many times i read this section...it's always like new to me....sighs.....
muhahahaha......and so.....i decided not to tell n e one of my plans for next saturday.....i just hope i won't be disappointed. i mean, i said i wouldn't hope or look forward to n e thing....but guess what? i lied. muhahahah. i am very much looking forward to doing something this up coming saturday. muhahaha....i have finished most of my projects this week so i could go. so yeah....muhahahaha. i thought it was important enough. muhahaha.
but yeah....args=.= apparently, when i sing, i slur my words=.= args.....have to learn to pronounce my words more clearly....gotsta read out loud without sluring=.= well.....hahaha.....the only reason why people don't complain about my voice is that they have always complimented me on the way i sing. muhahaha....does any one want a sample of sabby singing ma? muhahahaha. gotsta stop slurring words=.= apparently i looked cute today....what can i say? i'm a child-like character. i used to hate being called cute but...whateve.....better than being called ugly. muhahahaha.
well.....gotsta plan and do the rest of my hmwk now...gotsta write a stupid research article....no longer than two pagies=.= what the hell shall i write about?^o)
meh.....no worries.....i'll figure it out...muhahahaha.
my stomache hurts soooo bad=.= tummy ache=.= ate some super spice beef oodles=.= now me like in total utter pain....
*there will be nothing that i will be afraid of*
bleh...gotsta work on magazine.....gotsta work on bio...but i have 3 q's for bio.....and i am still wondering what i will write for that research article.
wow.....i have alot of angst music on my pc....what the hey? when did i d/l all this music?
yeah.....chinese music sang by guys normally sounds sooo femenine=.= *shivers* but....muhahahaha...that's cause most chinese guys are wannabe's...and they make it because they are cute/hot whether or not they can sing...they learn to sing....
i wanna become a SUPERSTAR!!!!! muhahaha...but in order for that to happen, i haveta like go back to hk....and that's no fun...don't wanna live the hk life of materialism....i love my life in canada...even though it seems that i don't fit in n e crowd. i am tooo white to be fobby...tooo fobby to be white.....so what am i? i'm a SABINA!!!!! muhahahahaha. I MAKE MY OWN WAY!!!!! I MAKE MY OWN LIFE!!!! yes....there are restrictions, but those are MY restricts.
no such thing as a good goodbye. no such thing as an easy break up...even if it's mutual, it's not easy. there is no such thing as being unable to feel...being numb is still a feeling. well technically...the only way to not feel n e thing is if you had no nerves....and if you were made without emotions you wouldn't have feeling...but let's just not go there.
devotion today.....beatitudes....for some reason....no matter how many times i read this section...it's always like new to me....sighs.....
Scandalous
So, so, so scandalous
You know you wanna sing with us (baby)
That's why you know you should be scared of us (baby)
Non stop looks to kill
Straight talk sex appeal
One touch gives me chills and we ain't even close yet
Rough neck all around
Inking all over town
Show me how you get down
Cos we ain't even close yet
You got me feening and you got me feeling weak
Listen as I speak cos I'm careful as I creep
You got me going crazy and you know I can't sleep
No fortune your moves and you hypnotise me
You got me trembling like a little baby girl
You're so special, you're like diamonds and pearls
You got me spinning and you got me in a twirl
You're my number one baby and you come to rock my world
You're dangerous
Just get it up
The way you move so scandalous
It's all about the two of us
A one night stand just ain't enough
I need some stimulation baby
A little conversation maybe
You got me spinning out like crazy
There goes my baby
Scandalous (baby)
So scandalous (baby)
Scandalous (baby)
So, so, so scandalous
Hot stuff, head to toe
Where you go, no one knows
You smile playing the dough and we ain't even close yet
Solid as a rock
How many ways can you hit the spot?
Show me what you got 'cos we ain't even close yet
You got me feening and you got me feeling weak
Listen as I speak cos I'm careful as I creep
You got me going crazy and you know I can't sleep
No fortune your moves and you hypnotise me
You got me trembling like a little baby girl
You're so special, you're like diamonds and pearls
You got me spinning and you got me in a twirl
You're my number one baby and you come to rock my world
You're dangerous
Just get it up
The way you move so scandalous
It's all about the two of us
A one night stand just ain't enough
I need some stimulation baby
A little conversation maybe
You got me spinning out like crazy
There goes my baby
Scandalous (baby)
So scandalous (baby)
Scandalous (baby)
So, so, so scandalous
A little conversation goes a long, long way
Show a little patience
That you are here to stay
So show me that you're game oh
You're dangerous
Just get it up
The way you move so scandalous
It's all about the two of us
A one night stand just ain't enough
I need some stimulation baby
A little conversation maybe
You got me spinning out like crazy
There goes my baby
You're dangerous
Just get it up
The way you move so scandalous
It's all about the two of us
A one night stand just ain't enough
I need some stimulation baby
A little conversation maybe
You got me spinning out like crazy
There goes my baby
You know you wanna sing with us (baby)
That's why you know you should be scared of us (baby)
You know you wanna sing with us (baby)
That's why you know you should be scared of us (baby)
You know you wanna sing with us (baby)
That's why you know you should be scared of us (baby)
Non stop looks to kill
Straight talk sex appeal
One touch gives me chills and we ain't even close yet
Rough neck all around
Inking all over town
Show me how you get down
Cos we ain't even close yet
You got me feening and you got me feeling weak
Listen as I speak cos I'm careful as I creep
You got me going crazy and you know I can't sleep
No fortune your moves and you hypnotise me
You got me trembling like a little baby girl
You're so special, you're like diamonds and pearls
You got me spinning and you got me in a twirl
You're my number one baby and you come to rock my world
You're dangerous
Just get it up
The way you move so scandalous
It's all about the two of us
A one night stand just ain't enough
I need some stimulation baby
A little conversation maybe
You got me spinning out like crazy
There goes my baby
Scandalous (baby)
So scandalous (baby)
Scandalous (baby)
So, so, so scandalous
Hot stuff, head to toe
Where you go, no one knows
You smile playing the dough and we ain't even close yet
Solid as a rock
How many ways can you hit the spot?
Show me what you got 'cos we ain't even close yet
You got me feening and you got me feeling weak
Listen as I speak cos I'm careful as I creep
You got me going crazy and you know I can't sleep
No fortune your moves and you hypnotise me
You got me trembling like a little baby girl
You're so special, you're like diamonds and pearls
You got me spinning and you got me in a twirl
You're my number one baby and you come to rock my world
You're dangerous
Just get it up
The way you move so scandalous
It's all about the two of us
A one night stand just ain't enough
I need some stimulation baby
A little conversation maybe
You got me spinning out like crazy
There goes my baby
Scandalous (baby)
So scandalous (baby)
Scandalous (baby)
So, so, so scandalous
A little conversation goes a long, long way
Show a little patience
That you are here to stay
So show me that you're game oh
You're dangerous
Just get it up
The way you move so scandalous
It's all about the two of us
A one night stand just ain't enough
I need some stimulation baby
A little conversation maybe
You got me spinning out like crazy
There goes my baby
You're dangerous
Just get it up
The way you move so scandalous
It's all about the two of us
A one night stand just ain't enough
I need some stimulation baby
A little conversation maybe
You got me spinning out like crazy
There goes my baby
You know you wanna sing with us (baby)
That's why you know you should be scared of us (baby)
You know you wanna sing with us (baby)
That's why you know you should be scared of us (baby)
tears.....
i'm listening to all my music...sighs sighs....i feel like crying.....args=.=
my music is all sooo sad. all about finding love. all about keeping love. all about losing love. sighs sighs. all about something that i don't want to hear about just right now. sighs sighs.
*flying through the sky. i want to see the adoration in your eyes. but i won't ever see it. you gave me up. all i can do now is fly. just watch me fly and sway from side to side. watch how high and how far. you will loose sight of me oh so very soon.*
my music is all sooo sad. all about finding love. all about keeping love. all about losing love. sighs sighs. all about something that i don't want to hear about just right now. sighs sighs.
*flying through the sky. i want to see the adoration in your eyes. but i won't ever see it. you gave me up. all i can do now is fly. just watch me fly and sway from side to side. watch how high and how far. you will loose sight of me oh so very soon.*
devotions
well now......i promised matt that everytime i write a blog, i will think about doing a devotion. i shouldn't spend sooo much time writing all about me when i could equally be spending my time strengthening my relationship with GOD. and from today on, i will do my devotions....since obviously, i write blogs everyday, this association will make me do devotions daily.
but n e ways....feeling kinda crappy....but.....i have tons of hmwk....whateve.....
but n e ways....feeling kinda crappy....but.....i have tons of hmwk....whateve.....
Saturday, May 21, 2005
horoscope
well yeah, sometimes it's just plain and interesting to read it. and then there are times that like i says everything that i think....bleh.....
Leo (Jul 23 - Aug 22)
The Bottom Line
Pay attention to what's beneath the surface. It could be a revelation.
In Detail
For some darned reason, whenever there's a problem within your family, everyone comes to you to solve it. And you don't mind. Truth be told, you kind of like it, and you know you're good at it. But at this particular moment in time, you're not thrilled about the position you've been put in -- and the responsibility you've been given shows no signs of letting up, despite the fact that you've got plans. Do what you can, then excuse yourself. Helping is one thing, and enabling is quite another.
Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22)
The Bottom Line
Beauty, harmony, balance -- that's what you're all about. Spread it around today.
In Detail
Every now and then, we all need to take stock of what's going on in our lives. We need to figure out what's important to us and what's not. It's now officially your turn to do just that, and you'll put your heart and soul into it. The good news is that your sweetheart or a trusted friend is more than willing to talk with you about it, and they'll have just the perspective you need. All you have to do is call that all-important meeting.
Leo (Jul 23 - Aug 22)
The Bottom Line
Pay attention to what's beneath the surface. It could be a revelation.
In Detail
For some darned reason, whenever there's a problem within your family, everyone comes to you to solve it. And you don't mind. Truth be told, you kind of like it, and you know you're good at it. But at this particular moment in time, you're not thrilled about the position you've been put in -- and the responsibility you've been given shows no signs of letting up, despite the fact that you've got plans. Do what you can, then excuse yourself. Helping is one thing, and enabling is quite another.
Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22)
The Bottom Line
Beauty, harmony, balance -- that's what you're all about. Spread it around today.
In Detail
Every now and then, we all need to take stock of what's going on in our lives. We need to figure out what's important to us and what's not. It's now officially your turn to do just that, and you'll put your heart and soul into it. The good news is that your sweetheart or a trusted friend is more than willing to talk with you about it, and they'll have just the perspective you need. All you have to do is call that all-important meeting.
breakdown
(Layzie Bone)
Don't break down yet it's over, over
Don't break down yet it's over, over
Don't break down yet it's over, over
Don't break down yet it's over
(Krayzie Bone)
Steady breaking me on down
break, breakdown
Steady breaking me on down
break, breakdown
Steady breaking me on down
[Mariah Carey]
You called yesterday
To basically say
That you care for me but
That you're just not in love
Immediately I pretended to be
Feeling similarly
And led you to believe
I was ok to just walk away from the
One thing that's unyielding and sacred to me
[Chorus: sung by Mariah Carey; Krayzie Bone singing 1 in background]
Well I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it
And I'm going to extremes to prove I'm fine without you
But in reality I'm
Slowly losing my mind
Underneath the guise of smile
Gradually I'm dying inside
Friends ask me how I feel
And I lie convincingly
Cause I don't want to reveal
The fact that I'm suffering
So I wear my disguise
Til I go home at night
And turn down all the lights
And then I breakdown and cry
[Mariah Carey]
So what do you do when
Somebody you're so devoted to
Suddenly just stops loving you
And it seems they haven't got a clue
Of the pain that rejection is putting you through
Do you cling to your pride
And sing "I Will Survive"
(Krayzie Bone in background: Gotta get control and roll roll roll on)
Do you lash out and say
How dare you leave this way
Do you hold in vain
As they just slip away
[Chorus]
[Wish Bone]
Gonna break you down, down, down, only if you let it (Don't let it)
Everyday crazy situations rocking my mind trying to break me down
But I won't let it forget it
If you feel the same way that I do
Then let me hear y'all all sing too
Sing, it's al-right, it's alright, it's alright yeah
Hoping for the sun, but it looks like rain
B-O-N-E, but it's still the same
Came this far, but it's been a long road
Troubles gonna come but we gotta stay strong, hold on, on
[Krayzie Bone]
Aw, yeah, I often feel the pressures, y'all
But nevertheless Krayzie won't fall
It's over, it's ending here, here
I said it's over. It's ending here, here
So I'll be on my way
And maybe we can meet up in the future one day
But for now I'm bailing, bailing
Bailing!, baby gotta get up, can't take no more
I'm headed for the door
Come and take a look into this humble eye
Tell me if we lived a lie
Would our souls unite
[Layzie Bone]
Every new day is a test for me
So I just pray to the Lord for him to bless me, please
There's struggles I'm going through lately
Breaks me down, set me free
Let me be, let me be
Who else do we have to rely on
Whose shoulder can a thug go cry on
Came to get my vibe on
While you look into my eyes
Won't underestimate this soldier story
I'ma tell you right now I'ma stand up
Wrong if I let my lead bust
Pac said keep your head up
Don't let this world get the best of you
All my struggles, I'm through
If it's over, over, over
Don't breakdown yet it's over
[Chorus]
(with Mariah Carey singing in background)
[Chorus]
(With Mariah Carey singing and Krayzie Bone singing 1 all in background)
Cry, cry (Break break down)
Cry, cry (Steady breaking me on down)
Cry, cry (Break break down)
Cry, cry (Steady breaking me on down)
Don't break down yet it's over, over
Don't break down yet it's over, over
Don't break down yet it's over, over
Don't break down yet it's over
(Krayzie Bone)
Steady breaking me on down
break, breakdown
Steady breaking me on down
break, breakdown
Steady breaking me on down
[Mariah Carey]
You called yesterday
To basically say
That you care for me but
That you're just not in love
Immediately I pretended to be
Feeling similarly
And led you to believe
I was ok to just walk away from the
One thing that's unyielding and sacred to me
[Chorus: sung by Mariah Carey; Krayzie Bone singing 1 in background]
Well I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it
And I'm going to extremes to prove I'm fine without you
But in reality I'm
Slowly losing my mind
Underneath the guise of smile
Gradually I'm dying inside
Friends ask me how I feel
And I lie convincingly
Cause I don't want to reveal
The fact that I'm suffering
So I wear my disguise
Til I go home at night
And turn down all the lights
And then I breakdown and cry
[Mariah Carey]
So what do you do when
Somebody you're so devoted to
Suddenly just stops loving you
And it seems they haven't got a clue
Of the pain that rejection is putting you through
Do you cling to your pride
And sing "I Will Survive"
(Krayzie Bone in background: Gotta get control and roll roll roll on)
Do you lash out and say
How dare you leave this way
Do you hold in vain
As they just slip away
[Chorus]
[Wish Bone]
Gonna break you down, down, down, only if you let it (Don't let it)
Everyday crazy situations rocking my mind trying to break me down
But I won't let it forget it
If you feel the same way that I do
Then let me hear y'all all sing too
Sing, it's al-right, it's alright, it's alright yeah
Hoping for the sun, but it looks like rain
B-O-N-E, but it's still the same
Came this far, but it's been a long road
Troubles gonna come but we gotta stay strong, hold on, on
[Krayzie Bone]
Aw, yeah, I often feel the pressures, y'all
But nevertheless Krayzie won't fall
It's over, it's ending here, here
I said it's over. It's ending here, here
So I'll be on my way
And maybe we can meet up in the future one day
But for now I'm bailing, bailing
Bailing!, baby gotta get up, can't take no more
I'm headed for the door
Come and take a look into this humble eye
Tell me if we lived a lie
Would our souls unite
[Layzie Bone]
Every new day is a test for me
So I just pray to the Lord for him to bless me, please
There's struggles I'm going through lately
Breaks me down, set me free
Let me be, let me be
Who else do we have to rely on
Whose shoulder can a thug go cry on
Came to get my vibe on
While you look into my eyes
Won't underestimate this soldier story
I'ma tell you right now I'ma stand up
Wrong if I let my lead bust
Pac said keep your head up
Don't let this world get the best of you
All my struggles, I'm through
If it's over, over, over
Don't breakdown yet it's over
[Chorus]
(with Mariah Carey singing in background)
[Chorus]
(With Mariah Carey singing and Krayzie Bone singing 1 all in background)
Cry, cry (Break break down)
Cry, cry (Steady breaking me on down)
Cry, cry (Break break down)
Cry, cry (Steady breaking me on down)
女人味
get going lady
＠From girl to lady
" ""In love"" make me crazy"
I'm now being lady
Know how to make you crazy＠
(Rap)
以前得得意意 好似一舊雲
今日開始 我要認認真真
行為大方 舉止溫文
唔係以前咁天真
唔係咁容易傷心 要番D輩份
唔好諗得咁深
我淨係想試下做女人 扮下女神
開始懂得了怎麼誘惑人
開始懂得了應該怎去熱吻
開始懂得了怎去著長裙
開始懂得了失戀不要自困
＊行為舉止嫵媚 讓我戒掉稚氣
完成春光明媚 幸福開始儲起
女人味 女人味
女人的身份這樣美 不再兒嬉＊
＃我著的高爭高過人
要愛得比當初勇敢
天空海闊不似舊時懷念插班生
我噴的香水香過人
我著出一身好女人
現在就讓我驗證女人怎去笑看風雲＃
(Rap)
以前重係 愛情練習生
離離合合乜都擺上心
依家心裡面 有個度量衡
得唔到人 都唔會扣自己分
唔止迷倒男生
重要好多大男人 走來獻殷勤
咁至算係真女人 希望我都有份
REPEAT＠
開始懂得了今天我是誰
開始懂得了怎麼揀我伴侶
開始懂得去一個抹眼眸}始懂得了青春不會後退
REPEAT＊＃
今天絕不一樣 做美麗楝樑
當天男生一樣 但我都不愛搶
變了大人仍是我
但我增添許多新偶像 擴闊我新思想
REPEAT＃＠
＠From girl to lady
" ""In love"" make me crazy"
I'm now being lady
Know how to make you crazy＠
(Rap)
以前得得意意 好似一舊雲
今日開始 我要認認真真
行為大方 舉止溫文
唔係以前咁天真
唔係咁容易傷心 要番D輩份
唔好諗得咁深
我淨係想試下做女人 扮下女神
開始懂得了怎麼誘惑人
開始懂得了應該怎去熱吻
開始懂得了怎去著長裙
開始懂得了失戀不要自困
＊行為舉止嫵媚 讓我戒掉稚氣
完成春光明媚 幸福開始儲起
女人味 女人味
女人的身份這樣美 不再兒嬉＊
＃我著的高爭高過人
要愛得比當初勇敢
天空海闊不似舊時懷念插班生
我噴的香水香過人
我著出一身好女人
現在就讓我驗證女人怎去笑看風雲＃
(Rap)
以前重係 愛情練習生
離離合合乜都擺上心
依家心裡面 有個度量衡
得唔到人 都唔會扣自己分
唔止迷倒男生
重要好多大男人 走來獻殷勤
咁至算係真女人 希望我都有份
REPEAT＠
開始懂得了今天我是誰
開始懂得了怎麼揀我伴侶
開始懂得去一個抹眼眸}始懂得了青春不會後退
REPEAT＊＃
今天絕不一樣 做美麗楝樑
當天男生一樣 但我都不愛搶
變了大人仍是我
但我增添許多新偶像 擴闊我新思想
REPEAT＃＠
plans for next weekend?
well...this week, i will be a mad crazy chickadee trying to finish all my projects. why? because i want to go out on saturday. but i haveta choose a movie=.= well now.....i'll just go for kingdom of heaven. i'm tooo lazy to choose. hahahaha. but....if i were to go rent movies at my house.....muhahahaha....what shall we rent?^o)
well i dunno.....sighs sighs....i feel like crying. sighs sighs.
hope my family doesn't decide to do n e thing. oh, we can't....my mommy is working=.= my daddy would be tooo lazy to take us out. sighs sighs.
well it's doing hmwk all weekend unless someone asks me to do something else. muhahahaha.
hahahaha.......we aren't going out......but.....what would n e one else call it if you ask me to go to the movies with you alone and then going to demitres afterwards? you and i alone....i'd call it a date.....even if we are just really good friends....muhahahaha....but what would everyone else call it. sighs sighs.
still... what is sadness is.....i smile and i'm happy when i'm with you. and then when you haveta go.....i cry all over again. i don't know.....sighs.....
*i cannot cry because i know it's weakness in your eyes. i am forced fake a smile, a laugh every day in my life. my heart can't possibly break when it wasn't whole to start with.*
but.....muhahaha.....i'll look forward to next weekend.....still feel like crying....sighs.....
well i dunno.....sighs sighs....i feel like crying. sighs sighs.
hope my family doesn't decide to do n e thing. oh, we can't....my mommy is working=.= my daddy would be tooo lazy to take us out. sighs sighs.
well it's doing hmwk all weekend unless someone asks me to do something else. muhahahaha.
hahahaha.......we aren't going out......but.....what would n e one else call it if you ask me to go to the movies with you alone and then going to demitres afterwards? you and i alone....i'd call it a date.....even if we are just really good friends....muhahahaha....but what would everyone else call it. sighs sighs.
still... what is sadness is.....i smile and i'm happy when i'm with you. and then when you haveta go.....i cry all over again. i don't know.....sighs.....
*i cannot cry because i know it's weakness in your eyes. i am forced fake a smile, a laugh every day in my life. my heart can't possibly break when it wasn't whole to start with.*
but.....muhahaha.....i'll look forward to next weekend.....still feel like crying....sighs.....
Friday, May 20, 2005
Nothing Hurts Like Love
*thought i posted this before....but apparently.....i can't find it...so reposting....bleh blehXPXP....*
Broken hearts, broken dreams
They're just some things that love brings
When you learn that its all been a lie
You cry
You find that
Nothing
Nothing
Nothing hurts like love
Nothing brings your heart so much pain
And you'll never learn till you get burned
Till you're burned by the flame
Nothing hurts so bad
Nothing hurts so much
No nothing, hurts, like love
So you gave all you had
How this story turned so sad
Nothing left but the tears in your eyes
You die inside, cause
Nothing
Nothing
Nothing hurts like love
Nothing brings your heart so much pain
And you'll never learn till yo u get burned
Till you're burned by the flame
Nothing hurts so bad
Nothing hurts so much
No nothing, hurts, like love
So dry your eyes
It's just your turn to learn
Your time to find that
Nothing
Nothing
Nothing hurts like love
Nothing brings your heart so much pain
And you'll never learn till yo u get burned
Till you're burned by the flame
Nothing hurts so bad
Nothing hurts so much
No nothing, hurts
Like love
Broken hearts, broken dreams
They're just some things that love brings
When you learn that its all been a lie
You cry
You find that
Nothing
Nothing
Nothing hurts like love
Nothing brings your heart so much pain
And you'll never learn till you get burned
Till you're burned by the flame
Nothing hurts so bad
Nothing hurts so much
No nothing, hurts, like love
So you gave all you had
How this story turned so sad
Nothing left but the tears in your eyes
You die inside, cause
Nothing
Nothing
Nothing hurts like love
Nothing brings your heart so much pain
And you'll never learn till yo u get burned
Till you're burned by the flame
Nothing hurts so bad
Nothing hurts so much
No nothing, hurts, like love
So dry your eyes
It's just your turn to learn
Your time to find that
Nothing
Nothing
Nothing hurts like love
Nothing brings your heart so much pain
And you'll never learn till yo u get burned
Till you're burned by the flame
Nothing hurts so bad
Nothing hurts so much
No nothing, hurts
Like love
輕
da da da da......
蒲公英 有幾公斤
(剛好 等於 我的個性)
一隻 蜻蜓 能背幾多回憶
(問得多精緻 剛好已不再流行)
趁著整個城市 都喜歡輕
我跟所有女生 都學會拋棄
＊從來沒有不能承受的輕
一個人 做天使 總好過兩個嘆息
原來只有難忍受的你
明明要愛情 到最後就要看輕＊
da da da da......
我在失戀以後 掉了一兩公斤
(你愛我 我愛你 再重不過如此)
一隻 燕子 能運幾顆寶石
再見王子
趁著整個城市 都喜歡輕
我跟所有女生 學會拋棄
連喝一杯可樂 也要喝輕
就想下個男生 不帶行李
REPEAT＊
＃不能夠跳舞 就唱歌
不唱歌怎會跳舞(再難也可以忘記)
不能夠一起 就分開
不分開怎會一起(再深也不過如此)＃
趁著整個城市 都喜歡輕
我跟所有女生 學會拋棄
da da da da......
一隻 蜻蜓 能背幾多回憶
(da da da da......)
一隻 燕子 能運幾顆寶石
再見王子
REPEAT＊＃＃
蒲公英 有幾公斤
(剛好 等於 我的個性)
一隻 蜻蜓 能背幾多回憶
(問得多精緻 剛好已不再流行)
趁著整個城市 都喜歡輕
我跟所有女生 都學會拋棄
＊從來沒有不能承受的輕
一個人 做天使 總好過兩個嘆息
原來只有難忍受的你
明明要愛情 到最後就要看輕＊
da da da da......
我在失戀以後 掉了一兩公斤
(你愛我 我愛你 再重不過如此)
一隻 燕子 能運幾顆寶石
再見王子
趁著整個城市 都喜歡輕
我跟所有女生 學會拋棄
連喝一杯可樂 也要喝輕
就想下個男生 不帶行李
REPEAT＊
＃不能夠跳舞 就唱歌
不唱歌怎會跳舞(再難也可以忘記)
不能夠一起 就分開
不分開怎會一起(再深也不過如此)＃
趁著整個城市 都喜歡輕
我跟所有女生 學會拋棄
da da da da......
一隻 蜻蜓 能背幾多回憶
(da da da da......)
一隻 燕子 能運幾顆寶石
再見王子
REPEAT＊＃＃
okie
muhahahaha....enough of the cheezeball stuff.
i am sitting here doing nothing. i am sitting here thinking. i am sitting here wondering why. i'm sitting here wondering if i will eat dinner since i ate lunch well....soon....meh....
tired.....sighs sighs....well now...not tooo bad....
dunno....hurting.....
painful.....and then...there's the smile...sighs sighs. i am tired....i just want to sleep off all the feelings i have right now. i'm falling apart again=.= sighs....i need to get out of my house....sighs sighs.
does n e one wanna do n e thing tonight? who wants to spend time with boring, drabby, depressed little sabina? sighs sighs....
i am sitting here doing nothing. i am sitting here thinking. i am sitting here wondering why. i'm sitting here wondering if i will eat dinner since i ate lunch well....soon....meh....
tired.....sighs sighs....well now...not tooo bad....
dunno....hurting.....
painful.....and then...there's the smile...sighs sighs. i am tired....i just want to sleep off all the feelings i have right now. i'm falling apart again=.= sighs....i need to get out of my house....sighs sighs.
does n e one wanna do n e thing tonight? who wants to spend time with boring, drabby, depressed little sabina? sighs sighs....
TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART
*yeah, this is one of those cheezeball songs i have on my list. well too bad....my blog, my posts...blehXPXP*
Turnaround, every now and then I get a
little bit lonely and you're never coming around
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart
Turnaround, every now and then I know
you'll never be the boy you always you wanted to be
Turnaround, every now and then I know
you'll always be the only boy who wanted me the way that I am
Turnaround, every now and then I know
there's no one in the universe as magical and wonderous as you
Turnaround, every now and then I know
there's nothing any better and there's nothing I just wouldn't do
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart
Turnaround, every now and then I get a
little bit lonely and you're never coming around
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart
Turnaround, every now and then I know
you'll never be the boy you always you wanted to be
Turnaround, every now and then I know
you'll always be the only boy who wanted me the way that I am
Turnaround, every now and then I know
there's no one in the universe as magical and wonderous as you
Turnaround, every now and then I know
there's nothing any better and there's nothing I just wouldn't do
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart
hurting....
ahhhh......
get away from me.....ahhhh....
bad weekend.....going to be a bad weekend. everyone is going out to get wasted and drunk. everyone has something to do. i don't know. i think i'm just gonna mope around in my basement and let my foul mood get more foul.
i don't know why i am hurting as of now, but i am. and args....i just feel like shooting myself for feeling this way. args...is there something to be disappointed about? i don't think there is....args.....i shouldn't be feeling like this.
someone come and sweep me off my feet and make me smile. args....
get away from me.....ahhhh....
bad weekend.....going to be a bad weekend. everyone is going out to get wasted and drunk. everyone has something to do. i don't know. i think i'm just gonna mope around in my basement and let my foul mood get more foul.
i don't know why i am hurting as of now, but i am. and args....i just feel like shooting myself for feeling this way. args...is there something to be disappointed about? i don't think there is....args.....i shouldn't be feeling like this.
someone come and sweep me off my feet and make me smile. args....
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Untitled
I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
Chorus:
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
Chorus:
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
headache=.=
i should actually be studying....but i can't....args=.= my heart and my mind are too unfocused and unclear. sighs sighs.
i am feeling really sick. i think it's the rice and mushrooms i ate. i feel really really sick=.= ahhhhh=.= my head is splitting, the bright lights and loud sounds are hurting my head. ahhhh.....it hurts it hurts!!!! the last time i had such bad pains....was when i was watching x-men 2-.- ahhhhhhhh.......save me!!!! ahhh=.=
should be studying, but 2 houir csi....yeah i know...you call it a stupid corny show.....kiss my ass....XPXP ahhhhhhh my head!!!!! ah!!!!!
sighs sighs.....the more i think about it....the more i want to cry....sighs sighs.....
i am feeling really sick. i think it's the rice and mushrooms i ate. i feel really really sick=.= ahhhhh=.= my head is splitting, the bright lights and loud sounds are hurting my head. ahhhh.....it hurts it hurts!!!! the last time i had such bad pains....was when i was watching x-men 2-.- ahhhhhhhh.......save me!!!! ahhh=.=
should be studying, but 2 houir csi....yeah i know...you call it a stupid corny show.....kiss my ass....XPXP ahhhhhhh my head!!!!! ah!!!!!
sighs sighs.....the more i think about it....the more i want to cry....sighs sighs.....
Keys to MY HEART
The Keys to Your Heart |
You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. |
In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. |
You'd like your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. |
You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. |
Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love. |
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. |
You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it. |
In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted. |
holy crap....every single one of those points are sooo true....it's scary.....*shivers*
things that i thought i would never do
and so, some where inside me, this time, i think i can move on. yeah, i have accepted maybe i'm not the one. i have accepted that it's not the right time. i have accepted that my life will always still have all the maybes and what if questions. but, there is nothing i can do about it. i can only pray for GOD to provide me with the calmness of heart and the strength to persevere through all that i must go through. i must never give up on life. i must never give up on love. i must never give up till it is time for me to go. i must always persevere when the hurt feels like it is tooo great for me to bear.
maybe there were reasons to why i did meet him and have the feelings i had. maybe it wasn't more than to just be friends, but maybe it was. meh, the thing is, GOD's plan is my plan. i have prayed so that something could work. and maybe, the working things out may not be the way i intended it to work out, but......i can't hide my feelings. sighs....but i must restrain. i can't continue to send signs of affection, even though all the time i have i just want to spend with him and make him happy. but.....when i am happy, he is happy. and that is satisfying enough. GOD intends the best for his children. i must not be angry at GOD. you should not be angry at GOD. maybe it's because i'm niave and i don't like to be angry at things i can't control. humans have no power over life. life is controled by GOD, there is nothing i can do.
for the past week, every one has said to me, "sabina, there are things you just can't control." and now, i am sitting here, about to cry, but also contented. tears of sadness with the grin of a crazy satisfied person. i wanted to be his. i wanted to love. but maybe, it's just not the right time. if i could accept it the first time, i could accept it now. but why is there a part of me that just doesn't want to let go of n e of this?
a good friendship was created. and well.....we wanted to pursue something more, but....it wasn't started. and therefore, nothing will end. all that friendship will still remain. but as i said, i just need to learn restraint.
well if he reads this.....he will know the very last reason to why i always poke him. because i want to know that he knows that i am there. yeah, i'm a attention crazed chick when it comes to the people i like. i want to know that he likes me too. i want to know that he's not afraid to have me as a friend.....sometimes, i wanted more, but there's nothing to repell n e more. no expectations. when you have expectations, you will always be disappointed. i want to be happy....but the more i write...the more i want to cry....sighs sighs....hope he calls me when he wakes up. but it's clear that i have woke up before him if he hasn't called me yet....sighs......what am i doing to myself? i am indulging myself in a sensation that just isn't going to happen. sighs sighs.
maybe there were reasons to why i did meet him and have the feelings i had. maybe it wasn't more than to just be friends, but maybe it was. meh, the thing is, GOD's plan is my plan. i have prayed so that something could work. and maybe, the working things out may not be the way i intended it to work out, but......i can't hide my feelings. sighs....but i must restrain. i can't continue to send signs of affection, even though all the time i have i just want to spend with him and make him happy. but.....when i am happy, he is happy. and that is satisfying enough. GOD intends the best for his children. i must not be angry at GOD. you should not be angry at GOD. maybe it's because i'm niave and i don't like to be angry at things i can't control. humans have no power over life. life is controled by GOD, there is nothing i can do.
for the past week, every one has said to me, "sabina, there are things you just can't control." and now, i am sitting here, about to cry, but also contented. tears of sadness with the grin of a crazy satisfied person. i wanted to be his. i wanted to love. but maybe, it's just not the right time. if i could accept it the first time, i could accept it now. but why is there a part of me that just doesn't want to let go of n e of this?
a good friendship was created. and well.....we wanted to pursue something more, but....it wasn't started. and therefore, nothing will end. all that friendship will still remain. but as i said, i just need to learn restraint.
well if he reads this.....he will know the very last reason to why i always poke him. because i want to know that he knows that i am there. yeah, i'm a attention crazed chick when it comes to the people i like. i want to know that he likes me too. i want to know that he's not afraid to have me as a friend.....sometimes, i wanted more, but there's nothing to repell n e more. no expectations. when you have expectations, you will always be disappointed. i want to be happy....but the more i write...the more i want to cry....sighs sighs....hope he calls me when he wakes up. but it's clear that i have woke up before him if he hasn't called me yet....sighs......what am i doing to myself? i am indulging myself in a sensation that just isn't going to happen. sighs sighs.
thoughts
and so.....muhahahaha....friendship continues. muhahahaha....
but well. talking to willy this morning. should be sleeping soon. it's almost one. need rest. tooo much happiness and excitement for the day. bleh bleh.
well yeah.....i am tooo niave apparently. wow. i live a pretty sheltered life. i have a sheltered life experience. the people i encounter, i encounter for a reason. you fight to protect. you fight to defend. you fight to survive. oh....i am sooo happy today.
i haven't talked to willy for this long for a very long long long time. muhahahaha. yes, apparently i live a sheltered life. i live in the indulgence of happiness and all the small things are made into catastrophes because it's a big ripple in my sea of over indulgence. my words...not his....my thoughts....my input...not his.
but....i still must learn to protect myself better. i must learn to hurt less. =.= args. sensitivity, compassion, sympathy, empathy=.= it's not something i lack, it's sometimes i trait that is tooo dominant in character. in my strong point lies my weakness=.=
and so, i am compared to a little child, it's no longer cute when you are not a kid and niave. it's called stupidity=.= i don't know what's best for me. but sometimes, pain is alrights. pain helps you grow. you need it in order to become stronger. if you never fall on your ass when you are learning to walk, you never learn how to balance yourself properly.
but well. talking to willy this morning. should be sleeping soon. it's almost one. need rest. tooo much happiness and excitement for the day. bleh bleh.
well yeah.....i am tooo niave apparently. wow. i live a pretty sheltered life. i have a sheltered life experience. the people i encounter, i encounter for a reason. you fight to protect. you fight to defend. you fight to survive. oh....i am sooo happy today.
i haven't talked to willy for this long for a very long long long time. muhahahaha. yes, apparently i live a sheltered life. i live in the indulgence of happiness and all the small things are made into catastrophes because it's a big ripple in my sea of over indulgence. my words...not his....my thoughts....my input...not his.
but....i still must learn to protect myself better. i must learn to hurt less. =.= args. sensitivity, compassion, sympathy, empathy=.= it's not something i lack, it's sometimes i trait that is tooo dominant in character. in my strong point lies my weakness=.=
and so, i am compared to a little child, it's no longer cute when you are not a kid and niave. it's called stupidity=.= i don't know what's best for me. but sometimes, pain is alrights. pain helps you grow. you need it in order to become stronger. if you never fall on your ass when you are learning to walk, you never learn how to balance yourself properly.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
bouncing back
for some reason, i am happy now. i haven't been sooo happy for a little while now. i mean....i have sounded happy and content, but inside, i had sooo many questions. i don't know. i feel kind of hurt thinking about yesterday's events. i feel really disappointed, but if well.....someone can say that that's the way the feel and it's a sign from GOD.....then....what am i fighting for? i will not fight a loosing battle. i want to be content and satisfied with my life. i want others to understand that i will move on and i will be content eventually. i was mad the whole day. i was crying the whole day. but....today, talking to him.....nothing has changed. nothing between us has changed. or maybe, the reason is.....i still like him.....and i want to treat him like the way i used to. i want him to remember me as the happy girl that was hurt, and was still able to treat him like that little happy girl was before. i might be a flirt, i might be a taunt. i feel like i might be damaging everything that we have now. but....i am content. and he says he will be happy if i am happy. but is he? that question, i ask, but maybe i will never know the answer. he thinks, and he's upset at GOD. but i don't see that there should be something wrong, if i am not the one, and it is not the right time; i am not the one and it is not the right time. fighting with GOD is a forever loosing battle. you cannot win something you are bound to loose. well technically, in today's views...sure you can.....but....meh.....
for now, this miserable day of dispair has ended in moments of pure, utter joy. i am satisfied and content. but, i don't think i could be this friendly to him at school. i don't think i could be around him much at school. i don't know. there's just something about being in my house, the familiar, that makes everything really comfortable.
and i suppose....it hurts....because he doesn't push me away....but...it's because i know he wants something to start, but he can't because...deep down inside...he feels something will just not work. i think....i have accepted the fact that we cant be an item. i mean, it still hurts, and it still stings....i don't think i will ever get over it much in the near recent future. i know i will look back at the times i cried so hard. i know i will look back at all the happy memories. i will look back and cry for joy and cry for sadness. but, at least these memories can still last being happiness.
i love and i hate this feeling i have at the present moment. i'm happy, contented, satisfied, but yet i am confused, hurt, shattered. what will happen next?....egh? is he home yet????
for now, this miserable day of dispair has ended in moments of pure, utter joy. i am satisfied and content. but, i don't think i could be this friendly to him at school. i don't think i could be around him much at school. i don't know. there's just something about being in my house, the familiar, that makes everything really comfortable.
and i suppose....it hurts....because he doesn't push me away....but...it's because i know he wants something to start, but he can't because...deep down inside...he feels something will just not work. i think....i have accepted the fact that we cant be an item. i mean, it still hurts, and it still stings....i don't think i will ever get over it much in the near recent future. i know i will look back at the times i cried so hard. i know i will look back at all the happy memories. i will look back and cry for joy and cry for sadness. but, at least these memories can still last being happiness.
i love and i hate this feeling i have at the present moment. i'm happy, contented, satisfied, but yet i am confused, hurt, shattered. what will happen next?....egh? is he home yet????
painfully dying
i am feeling like shit. all i want to do is sit in a corner and slowly die. args. yeah, brokenhearted=.= i can define my feeling as being brokenhearted.
shattered dreams. shattered hopes. shattered faith. shattered happiness.
my life feels shattered. args=.= i feel like just running off a cliff.
i'm tired. my eyes hurt. my body is physically hurting. i am mad at the world. i hate the human race. args.
i just wanna run away and never come back. the feelings of escapism all come back. sighs sighs.
shattered happiness.......i feel like punching every wall and breaking every single one of my knuckles=.= i feel like kicking ass=.= args.....i need better anger management.
nothing will be the same, because i don't think i will get over my hurt quick enough. i'm giving myself 6 weeks. and well....i'll just haveta see everything.
i have never treated you like a friend. i suppose this is my mistake, because i am still hurting. i still feel as if my heart is broken. so the truth is.....what is never meant to be mine, isn't mine. and i shall move on with my life. obviously since.....i obviously wasn't worth it.....feeling really shitty. args.....
i want to stop feeling like this....sighs...
tomorrow will be a better day.....sighs sighs....
shattered dreams. shattered hopes. shattered faith. shattered happiness.
my life feels shattered. args=.= i feel like just running off a cliff.
i'm tired. my eyes hurt. my body is physically hurting. i am mad at the world. i hate the human race. args.
i just wanna run away and never come back. the feelings of escapism all come back. sighs sighs.
shattered happiness.......i feel like punching every wall and breaking every single one of my knuckles=.= i feel like kicking ass=.= args.....i need better anger management.
nothing will be the same, because i don't think i will get over my hurt quick enough. i'm giving myself 6 weeks. and well....i'll just haveta see everything.
i have never treated you like a friend. i suppose this is my mistake, because i am still hurting. i still feel as if my heart is broken. so the truth is.....what is never meant to be mine, isn't mine. and i shall move on with my life. obviously since.....i obviously wasn't worth it.....feeling really shitty. args.....
i want to stop feeling like this....sighs...
tomorrow will be a better day.....sighs sighs....
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
sighs
i can only be your friend. you will be happy. there will be no fights. don't want to be your friend,
here's lyrics to a happier song...
Everything's gonna be alright
Everything's gonna be alright
Everything's gonna be alright
Whoever thought the sun would come crashing down
My life in flames, my tears concrete the pain
Me feel the end, the darkest, deepest riverbed
My book of life ain't complete without you here
Alone I sit and reminisce, sometimes
I miss your touch, your kiss, your smile
And meanwhile you know I never cry
Cuz deep down inside
You know our love will never ever die
Everything's gonna be alright
Everything's gonna be okay
Everything's gonna be alright
Together we can take this one day at a time
Can you take my breath away?
Can you give him life today?
Is everything gonna be okay?
I'll be your strength
I'll be here when you wake up
Take your time, and I'll be here when you wake up
I never thought my heart would miss a single beat
Caress your hands, as I watch you while you sleep
So sweet, I weep as I search within
To find a cure, just to bring you back again
And the sun will rise, open up your eyes
Surprise, just a blink of an eye
I tried, I tried to be positive
You're a fighter, so fight, wake up and live
Everything's gonna be alright
Everything's gonna be okay
Everything's gonna be alright
Together we can take this one day at a time
Can you take my breath away?
Can you give him life today?
Is everything gonna be okay?
I'll be your strength
I'll be here when you wake up
Everything's gonna be alright
I'd give my life to only see you breathe again
Hand in hand as we walk in the white sands
To hear your voice, rejoice as you rise and say
This is the day that I wait, and pray, okay
Tears in silence, as time just moves on
You can't hear it but I'm playin' my favorite songs
I miss you much, I wish you'd come back to me
You see I'd wait a lifetime, cuz you're my destiny
Everything's gonna be alright
Everything's gonna be okay
Everything's gonna be alright
Together we can take this one day at a time
Can you take my breath away?
Can you give him life today?
Is everything gonna be okay?
I'll be your strength
I'll be here when you wake up
here's lyrics to a happier song...
Everything's gonna be alright
Everything's gonna be alright
Everything's gonna be alright
Whoever thought the sun would come crashing down
My life in flames, my tears concrete the pain
Me feel the end, the darkest, deepest riverbed
My book of life ain't complete without you here
Alone I sit and reminisce, sometimes
I miss your touch, your kiss, your smile
And meanwhile you know I never cry
Cuz deep down inside
You know our love will never ever die
Everything's gonna be alright
Everything's gonna be okay
Everything's gonna be alright
Together we can take this one day at a time
Can you take my breath away?
Can you give him life today?
Is everything gonna be okay?
I'll be your strength
I'll be here when you wake up
Take your time, and I'll be here when you wake up
I never thought my heart would miss a single beat
Caress your hands, as I watch you while you sleep
So sweet, I weep as I search within
To find a cure, just to bring you back again
And the sun will rise, open up your eyes
Surprise, just a blink of an eye
I tried, I tried to be positive
You're a fighter, so fight, wake up and live
Everything's gonna be alright
Everything's gonna be okay
Everything's gonna be alright
Together we can take this one day at a time
Can you take my breath away?
Can you give him life today?
Is everything gonna be okay?
I'll be your strength
I'll be here when you wake up
Everything's gonna be alright
I'd give my life to only see you breathe again
Hand in hand as we walk in the white sands
To hear your voice, rejoice as you rise and say
This is the day that I wait, and pray, okay
Tears in silence, as time just moves on
You can't hear it but I'm playin' my favorite songs
I miss you much, I wish you'd come back to me
You see I'd wait a lifetime, cuz you're my destiny
Everything's gonna be alright
Everything's gonna be okay
Everything's gonna be alright
Together we can take this one day at a time
Can you take my breath away?
Can you give him life today?
Is everything gonna be okay?
I'll be your strength
I'll be here when you wake up
你懂嗎
每次為了他吵架 然後冷戰不說話
我的沉默 你懂嗎
是否你沒有辦法 偶而還是會想他
我的埋怨 你懂嗎
＊只能做你的朋友
陪你快樂陪你憂愁
不想只做個朋友
想要給你我的所有＊
還能要求些甚麼
相信你給的回答 總有一天忘記他
我的等待 你懂嗎
就算那只是謊話 還是愛你不變化
我的感覺 你懂嗎
REPEAT＊
說不出口的溫柔
當你為了他傷痛 為甚麼我只能說
天氣不錯要不要出去走一走
是否你沒有辦法 偶而還是會想他
就算那只是謊話 還是愛你不變化
我的感覺
相信你給的回答 總有一天忘記他
我的沉默 你懂嗎
是否你沒有辦法 偶而還是會想他
我的埋怨 你懂嗎
＊只能做你的朋友
陪你快樂陪你憂愁
不想只做個朋友
想要給你我的所有＊
還能要求些甚麼
相信你給的回答 總有一天忘記他
我的等待 你懂嗎
就算那只是謊話 還是愛你不變化
我的感覺 你懂嗎
REPEAT＊
說不出口的溫柔
當你為了他傷痛 為甚麼我只能說
天氣不錯要不要出去走一走
是否你沒有辦法 偶而還是會想他
就算那只是謊話 還是愛你不變化
我的感覺
相信你給的回答 總有一天忘記他
once again, i am crying=.=
my eyes are swollen. i look like a goldfish. i suppose it's time to fold my 1000th crane now. since there is nothing between us now except for friendship, it's a new phase in my life. sighs sighs. but why can't i stop crying?
why do i feel sooo miserable? why can't i just accept all the things that have happened? why must i always feel sooo bad. sighs sighs.
i feel sooo alone. i feel sooo unwanted. i feel so.....sooo.....numb from all this sadness. why do i overact to situations? sighs sighs.
why do people say things that they don't mean? why do some people torture me like that. sighs sighs. why? sighs sighs.
feelings of loneliness come flooding back. feelings of rejection comes back. feelings of being unwanted tower over my dedication for love.
i want all of these feelings gone!!!! ahhhhh!!!!! I WANT THEM GONE!!!!! I WANT THEM GONE NOW!!!!!
you want me, but you don't want me enough to forget your doubts. sighs sighs. i'm just not worth it to you. ahhhhh.
I WANT THESE FEELINGS GONE!!!! I WANT THEM GONE NOW!!!!
why do i feel sooo miserable? why can't i just accept all the things that have happened? why must i always feel sooo bad. sighs sighs.
i feel sooo alone. i feel sooo unwanted. i feel so.....sooo.....numb from all this sadness. why do i overact to situations? sighs sighs.
why do people say things that they don't mean? why do some people torture me like that. sighs sighs. why? sighs sighs.
feelings of loneliness come flooding back. feelings of rejection comes back. feelings of being unwanted tower over my dedication for love.
i want all of these feelings gone!!!! ahhhhh!!!!! I WANT THEM GONE!!!!! I WANT THEM GONE NOW!!!!!
you want me, but you don't want me enough to forget your doubts. sighs sighs. i'm just not worth it to you. ahhhhh.
I WANT THESE FEELINGS GONE!!!! I WANT THEM GONE NOW!!!!
in a corner crying
sighs sighs. i feel really bad. i feel like crying. i feel like crap. sighs sighs.
my words are no longer eloquent. my words have run dry. i just hope someone will listen to me. yeah, you and i weren't n e thing except friends, but why do i hurt soooo bad now? sighs sighs. maybe it's because i wanted us to be more. it's because i know the truth and that you do like me, but do you anymore? you don't think i am worth it. and i suppose that hurts me the most, you don't think i am worth it. sighs sighs....gonna go out....be back soon...sighs sighs....
my words are no longer eloquent. my words have run dry. i just hope someone will listen to me. yeah, you and i weren't n e thing except friends, but why do i hurt soooo bad now? sighs sighs. maybe it's because i wanted us to be more. it's because i know the truth and that you do like me, but do you anymore? you don't think i am worth it. and i suppose that hurts me the most, you don't think i am worth it. sighs sighs....gonna go out....be back soon...sighs sighs....
Like Me Real Hard
We've had such a great time
In these past two months
I never laughed so much
In my life
It's been all about us
Since that time we had
That intimate talk
Suddenly your actin' strange
Plus your conversation
Just upped and changed
Is it because your afraid
What you feelin' for me
Is the beginning of a
New heart break?
Hear me when I say
You ain't gotta
Give me your love
You ain't gotta
Say I'm your one
You ain't gotta
Tell me where you be
'Cause you ain't
Obligated to me
I'm not sayin' that
You should just
Rush and give me
Your heart
I'm just askin' that you
Like me real hard
Just like me real hard
You know just like I know
We've been broken by love
We both need time to heal
That's why
In this short amount of time
We've grown so close
'Cause you relate to
Everything I feel
So let's not complicate things
By placing titles on you and I
But what we can do
Before we make the next move
We gotta find the perfect
Reason why
So believe me when I say
You ain't gotta
Give me your love
You ain't gotta
Say I'm your one
You ain't gotta
Tell me where you be
'Cause you ain't
Obligated to me
I'm not sayin' that
You should just
Rush and give me
Your heart
I'm just askin' that you
Like me real hard
Just like me real hard
You ain't ready To fall in love
And I ain't ready to Care so much
We ain't ready for commitment
Right now
But together we can
Work something out
When the time is right
Cause we will feel it in our hearts
It will be written in the stars
But for now
Just like me real hard
You ain't gotta
Give me your love
You ain't gotta
Say I'm your one
You ain't gotta
Tell me where you be
'Cause you ain't
Obligated to me
I'm not sayin' that
You should just
Rush and give me
Your heart
I'm just askin' that you
Like me real hard
Just like me real hard
You ain't gotta
Give me your love
You ain't gotta
Say I'm your one
You ain't gotta
Tell me where you be
'Cause you ain't
Obligated to me
I'm not sayin' that
You should just
Rush and give me
Your heart
I'm just askin' that you
Like me real hard
Just like me real hard
In these past two months
I never laughed so much
In my life
It's been all about us
Since that time we had
That intimate talk
Suddenly your actin' strange
Plus your conversation
Just upped and changed
Is it because your afraid
What you feelin' for me
Is the beginning of a
New heart break?
Hear me when I say
You ain't gotta
Give me your love
You ain't gotta
Say I'm your one
You ain't gotta
Tell me where you be
'Cause you ain't
Obligated to me
I'm not sayin' that
You should just
Rush and give me
Your heart
I'm just askin' that you
Like me real hard
Just like me real hard
You know just like I know
We've been broken by love
We both need time to heal
That's why
In this short amount of time
We've grown so close
'Cause you relate to
Everything I feel
So let's not complicate things
By placing titles on you and I
But what we can do
Before we make the next move
We gotta find the perfect
Reason why
So believe me when I say
You ain't gotta
Give me your love
You ain't gotta
Say I'm your one
You ain't gotta
Tell me where you be
'Cause you ain't
Obligated to me
I'm not sayin' that
You should just
Rush and give me
Your heart
I'm just askin' that you
Like me real hard
Just like me real hard
You ain't ready To fall in love
And I ain't ready to Care so much
We ain't ready for commitment
Right now
But together we can
Work something out
When the time is right
Cause we will feel it in our hearts
It will be written in the stars
But for now
Just like me real hard
You ain't gotta
Give me your love
You ain't gotta
Say I'm your one
You ain't gotta
Tell me where you be
'Cause you ain't
Obligated to me
I'm not sayin' that
You should just
Rush and give me
Your heart
I'm just askin' that you
Like me real hard
Just like me real hard
You ain't gotta
Give me your love
You ain't gotta
Say I'm your one
You ain't gotta
Tell me where you be
'Cause you ain't
Obligated to me
I'm not sayin' that
You should just
Rush and give me
Your heart
I'm just askin' that you
Like me real hard
Just like me real hard
feeling like shit=.=
well today, i woke up feeling good. but then, on the way to school, i became sooo annoyed and just plain p.o-ed with my own life. args......
i don't know how i'm supposed to feel n e more. i can't hide, and the only way i can, is avoidance. i wonder if i start pulling away and being distant if he'd understand. i feel like shit because of all this. i can't stand liking him and him knowing and him unwilling to do n e thing. i am giving up. there's no reason why i shouldn't n e more. i am feeling like shit and there's no way around it. sighs sighs.
i want to just scream at him and slap him and say, what the hell do you want me to do? ahhhhh. do you think i can pretend that everythign is alright within me? because i clearly do not feel alright. i feel like crap and blah, it's not like anyone gives a fuck.
i get people upset because i openly say i am upset. ahhh.....
my next move, it's pulling away and avoidance. i am changing seats. no text messages. no talking on the phone. not talking on msn. why? because it's taunting me and killing me softly on the inside. him being soooo close and yet so far is eating away at my emotional being.
sighs sighs. feeling like shit......
i don't know how i'm supposed to feel n e more. i can't hide, and the only way i can, is avoidance. i wonder if i start pulling away and being distant if he'd understand. i feel like shit because of all this. i can't stand liking him and him knowing and him unwilling to do n e thing. i am giving up. there's no reason why i shouldn't n e more. i am feeling like shit and there's no way around it. sighs sighs.
i want to just scream at him and slap him and say, what the hell do you want me to do? ahhhhh. do you think i can pretend that everythign is alright within me? because i clearly do not feel alright. i feel like crap and blah, it's not like anyone gives a fuck.
i get people upset because i openly say i am upset. ahhh.....
my next move, it's pulling away and avoidance. i am changing seats. no text messages. no talking on the phone. not talking on msn. why? because it's taunting me and killing me softly on the inside. him being soooo close and yet so far is eating away at my emotional being.
sighs sighs. feeling like shit......
Monday, May 16, 2005
yaya
today, i went from happy, bored, numb, to happy again. i am sooo happy right now. ahhhh. just thinking about the events of today, ahhhh......sooo memorable...well minus the part feeling numb. but yeah. oh.....i haven't felt like this for a while remembering this feeling. ahhh. sooo happy. muhahaha.
wow....i talk about my exes alot...=.= ewww....muhahahaha. well now.....let's forget the whol'e ordeal and start all fresh and new. muhahaha. i am sooo hungeee=.=
but whatever.....muhahahaha. it's 10...shouldn't eat n e more. muhahahaha. need to study for bio=.= ahhhh.....
sweet moments *blushes*. i hope they were as memorable to you as they were to me. muhahahaha. ahhhhh
wow....i talk about my exes alot...=.= ewww....muhahahaha. well now.....let's forget the whol'e ordeal and start all fresh and new. muhahaha. i am sooo hungeee=.=
but whatever.....muhahahaha. it's 10...shouldn't eat n e more. muhahahaha. need to study for bio=.= ahhhh.....
sweet moments *blushes*. i hope they were as memorable to you as they were to me. muhahahaha. ahhhhh
numb
the sourness of the pineapple is making the cuts in my mouth bleed:(
but yeah. i am feeling kind of numb now. i am just a friend. nothing less, maybe something more. but i am and forever will be just a friend. is what i am doing only making the situation worst for me? sighs sighs. is the way i am treating him worth it at all? in a way....i really think it is.....and then there is the other side of me.....it says it's not worth it at all. you may ask why, but it's because...sighs sighs, i don't see n e thing that would happen. sighs sighs. in this sense, that means all i am doing now is only going to make it worst for myself. not only does it get me tired, but it also gets me upset more because i'm thinking of what "we" might be. it's the phases like this that ruin everything for me.
i want to be happy. i want to be civil. sighs sighs. i want to just args.....sighs....
but yeah. i am feeling kind of numb now. i am just a friend. nothing less, maybe something more. but i am and forever will be just a friend. is what i am doing only making the situation worst for me? sighs sighs. is the way i am treating him worth it at all? in a way....i really think it is.....and then there is the other side of me.....it says it's not worth it at all. you may ask why, but it's because...sighs sighs, i don't see n e thing that would happen. sighs sighs. in this sense, that means all i am doing now is only going to make it worst for myself. not only does it get me tired, but it also gets me upset more because i'm thinking of what "we" might be. it's the phases like this that ruin everything for me.
i want to be happy. i want to be civil. sighs sighs. i want to just args.....sighs....
Sunday, May 15, 2005
a bit disappointed
sighs sighs. i wanted to go out today. yeah i know, it's a sunday, but i still wanted to go out none the less. i wanted to spend time away from my house and somewhere else. but...that didn't happen. no one's free. everyone's doing hmwk.
some people just aren't home. some people's cells just aren't on. ahhhh.....
stupid bum bum and a half. i have only not seen him for like a few days... bleh...but it's cause i wanted to do something this weekend...not school stuff....muhahahaha....
some people just aren't home. some people's cells just aren't on. ahhhh.....
stupid bum bum and a half. i have only not seen him for like a few days... bleh...but it's cause i wanted to do something this weekend...not school stuff....muhahahaha....
life
in the world, there are fakers and liars. everyone has their own bias in life.
all i know is that life is not centered on anything upon this earth. living isn't about being fair. living isn't about being happy. living isn't about getting what we deserve. living is about following GOD's plan for us.
~☆~愛的顏色~☆~...[no regrets]...{999 cranes}...guelph bound=.=...all the truth will be uncovered like the dawn of a new day...
.....that has come true. the truth has become uncovered like the dawn of a new day....
i feel sorry...because some people live lies like they are the reality of life. all your lies become your truth.
all i know is that life is not centered on anything upon this earth. living isn't about being fair. living isn't about being happy. living isn't about getting what we deserve. living is about following GOD's plan for us.
~☆~愛的顏色~☆~...[no regrets]...{999 cranes}...guelph bound=.=...all the truth will be uncovered like the dawn of a new day...
.....that has come true. the truth has become uncovered like the dawn of a new day....
i feel sorry...because some people live lies like they are the reality of life. all your lies become your truth.
smiles and tears
i spent a good day today. now, i just want to go and cry. but i won't. i must stay strong for my friend. my friend needs me to comfort and be strong. i shall be strong.
after all the lies. after all the truths. people all tell me not to trust anyone. i won't stop trusting. i might get hurt. those around me may still hurt. i will not let the breakage of trust stop me from trusting others. sighs sighs.
i didn't want to believe. and in the end...i did. sighs sighs.....
i feel like an idiot. i just want all this to go away. sighs sighs....i am soooo sorry for all the pain and sorrow....
after all the lies. after all the truths. people all tell me not to trust anyone. i won't stop trusting. i might get hurt. those around me may still hurt. i will not let the breakage of trust stop me from trusting others. sighs sighs.
i didn't want to believe. and in the end...i did. sighs sighs.....
i feel like an idiot. i just want all this to go away. sighs sighs....i am soooo sorry for all the pain and sorrow....
Saturday, May 14, 2005
broken
*note: time and time again i have listened to this song. the music is so soft. the lyrics are alrights. but i just thought it was pretty...so here we go...*
Verse 1:
waking again, don't know why
it's far too still tonight
on my bed shadows fall
thinking of you, where you are and how it got this far
wondering when you might call
tired and so alone
i ignore the TV drone
every heart beat turns toward the telephone
you're in my mind, in my dream
i'm cursed, or so it seems
don't know where to take flight
always the single doubt and it turns me inside out
it's so hard to walk away, try as i might
chorus:
**cuz i'm broken inside
pieces of me, intense and obscene
forced not to show the things that i know
all of the flaws I keep unseen
i turn to you ,what else can i do?
hoping to find a way to see through
a break in the sky to keep through the night
discover the peace i wish i knew
Bridge:
paint shades of grey shifting through the disarray
can i find enough of me to make you stay?
**chorus**
Verse 2:
with you , you turn the tide
wash over me, come set me free
i won't question why
try to disguise all the things you mean to me
i trusted you
what else can i do?
i cant deny something so true
look at me now
wondering how i'll keep the peace I find with you...
Verse 1:
waking again, don't know why
it's far too still tonight
on my bed shadows fall
thinking of you, where you are and how it got this far
wondering when you might call
tired and so alone
i ignore the TV drone
every heart beat turns toward the telephone
you're in my mind, in my dream
i'm cursed, or so it seems
don't know where to take flight
always the single doubt and it turns me inside out
it's so hard to walk away, try as i might
chorus:
**cuz i'm broken inside
pieces of me, intense and obscene
forced not to show the things that i know
all of the flaws I keep unseen
i turn to you ,what else can i do?
hoping to find a way to see through
a break in the sky to keep through the night
discover the peace i wish i knew
Bridge:
paint shades of grey shifting through the disarray
can i find enough of me to make you stay?
**chorus**
Verse 2:
with you , you turn the tide
wash over me, come set me free
i won't question why
try to disguise all the things you mean to me
i trusted you
what else can i do?
i cant deny something so true
look at me now
wondering how i'll keep the peace I find with you...
can't believe
still in shock over the whole situation. sticks and stones may break bones, but names can't hurt me. wow.....that's a saying i used to live behind as a kid...but it's not true. physically, sticks and stones can really hurt. but physically pain can heal easy....sometimes. and well...names do emotional damage. i think saying sticks and stones may break bones, but names can't hurt me is only a consolation for those that are always made fun of.
sighs sighs. i can not tolerate any one calling me a bitch. people don't call me whore, unless it's a joke and not in some condescending tone. what the heck? args.....what the hell.
everyone wants the best for their friends. feelings aren't weakness. but feelings are only perversed in today's society.
i am just in shock. utter shock. i am probably just tired. wow.....i am mad at him....grrrrr.......what a bastard child. but yet i will still be his friend even though he seems like a bastard child for even wanting to cheat.
you want to know why i'm more built than most girls? well it's cause i have always found the need to be stronger than most girls. i don't want to be fragile. i mean, it's ironic in a way because physically i may be strong, emotionally, i am kinda weak. i am a tad tooo sensitive at times.
11 hours till going to vals for movie night!!!!! i wonder if i will have plans before going to vals. hm. well i still kinda need to talkie to him because now i am confused=.=
i'm listening to an old song that says this. i don't need love. what is it? don't blame me for being single and more clear headed. what i don't get will leave a shadow for the rest of my life. i dunno....that's not what i'm feeling...but i just thought i'd like to share that lyric.... do you think it's true? relationships leave you not in clear minds? well i know my answer is kind yes...it's more like when you were in a relationship leaves you hurting and the hurt blinds you. but meh....that's just me...
sighs sighs.....i will be giving jean a hug on sunday. sighs sighs. i am sucha meanie=.= sighs sighs. i am sooo unsensitive to her situation=.= sighs sighs....
sighs sighs. i can not tolerate any one calling me a bitch. people don't call me whore, unless it's a joke and not in some condescending tone. what the heck? args.....what the hell.
everyone wants the best for their friends. feelings aren't weakness. but feelings are only perversed in today's society.
i am just in shock. utter shock. i am probably just tired. wow.....i am mad at him....grrrrr.......what a bastard child. but yet i will still be his friend even though he seems like a bastard child for even wanting to cheat.
you want to know why i'm more built than most girls? well it's cause i have always found the need to be stronger than most girls. i don't want to be fragile. i mean, it's ironic in a way because physically i may be strong, emotionally, i am kinda weak. i am a tad tooo sensitive at times.
11 hours till going to vals for movie night!!!!! i wonder if i will have plans before going to vals. hm. well i still kinda need to talkie to him because now i am confused=.=
i'm listening to an old song that says this. i don't need love. what is it? don't blame me for being single and more clear headed. what i don't get will leave a shadow for the rest of my life. i dunno....that's not what i'm feeling...but i just thought i'd like to share that lyric.... do you think it's true? relationships leave you not in clear minds? well i know my answer is kind yes...it's more like when you were in a relationship leaves you hurting and the hurt blinds you. but meh....that's just me...
sighs sighs.....i will be giving jean a hug on sunday. sighs sighs. i am sucha meanie=.= sighs sighs. i am sooo unsensitive to her situation=.= sighs sighs....
Friday, May 13, 2005
prom is in 50 days!!!
no no, i haven't been a nerdy poo counting the number of days till prom. it's just that my watch has that day counter, so yeah....there is 50 more days. muhahaha.
and well it's in that luina station down in hamilton or sumthing. it is absolutely gorgeous. it can fit about like a ton of people. soooooo gorgeous...if you people are wondering how it looks.....go search it...it is absolutely gorgeous!!! no other words except gorgeous!!!
ahhhh....sooo excited...keke^^:D:P yeah...keke^^:D:P black suit, black shirt, silver tie....muhahahaha......can't believe that's what he's trying to get because that's what i think it absolutely hot....muhahahaha....soo cute....*blushes*
muhahahaha....
thanx for making my day. keke^^:D:P....*blushes*....thanx everyone for making my days filled with joy. sometimes unhappiness occurs, but it is because of my good friends, friends, and aquaintences that make my day all the worth while. muhahaha. getting together with val at seven tomorrow!!! WOOOO WHOOOOO!!!!! she postponed it for me!!!!*blushes* muhahaha.....lub hers!!!! keke^^:D:P CHill day with the chicks and a few guys!!!! muhahahah
and well it's in that luina station down in hamilton or sumthing. it is absolutely gorgeous. it can fit about like a ton of people. soooooo gorgeous...if you people are wondering how it looks.....go search it...it is absolutely gorgeous!!! no other words except gorgeous!!!
ahhhh....sooo excited...keke^^:D:P yeah...keke^^:D:P black suit, black shirt, silver tie....muhahahaha......can't believe that's what he's trying to get because that's what i think it absolutely hot....muhahahaha....soo cute....*blushes*
muhahahaha....
thanx for making my day. keke^^:D:P....*blushes*....thanx everyone for making my days filled with joy. sometimes unhappiness occurs, but it is because of my good friends, friends, and aquaintences that make my day all the worth while. muhahaha. getting together with val at seven tomorrow!!! WOOOO WHOOOOO!!!!! she postponed it for me!!!!*blushes* muhahaha.....lub hers!!!! keke^^:D:P CHill day with the chicks and a few guys!!!! muhahahah
*blushes*
oh....keke^^:D:P you know there are only a few reasons that i start to blush. and well....one of them is always when i'm thinking about something that makes me feel all giddy and filled with joy. ahhhhh..... bessie just made me blush soooo bad....keke^^:D:P
i'm soooo sorry jean....i'm sorry. i really do care, and it's because i think i worry and care too much that gets me really easily hurt when things like this happen. i'm sorry. i was being a total meany. i am truly sorry. hope you will forgive me....but i know you don't read my thoughts. but if it just so happens that you did....i am sorry.
it's not my fault that i am feeling all giddy inside. *blushes and looks away* keke^^:D:P for all you reading this.....i'm sure you all know why i'm blushing now.....*looks away and try to turn back to normal colour*. keke^^:D:P all good
dunno....memories of yesterday was just cute ones....ahhhhh....booo....but now i'm really seriously asking what are "we". but....it's all good. don't burst a bubble before it reaches maximum height in the sky. yupz yupz. ahhhh......sooo happy....*blushes*
i'm soooo sorry jean....i'm sorry. i really do care, and it's because i think i worry and care too much that gets me really easily hurt when things like this happen. i'm sorry. i was being a total meany. i am truly sorry. hope you will forgive me....but i know you don't read my thoughts. but if it just so happens that you did....i am sorry.
it's not my fault that i am feeling all giddy inside. *blushes and looks away* keke^^:D:P for all you reading this.....i'm sure you all know why i'm blushing now.....*looks away and try to turn back to normal colour*. keke^^:D:P all good
dunno....memories of yesterday was just cute ones....ahhhhh....booo....but now i'm really seriously asking what are "we". but....it's all good. don't burst a bubble before it reaches maximum height in the sky. yupz yupz. ahhhh......sooo happy....*blushes*
Looking towards tomorrow
The worst way to miss someone is to be seated by thier side and know that you'll never have them.
Don't spend time with someone who doesn't care spending it with you.
There will always be people who'll hurt you, so you need to continue trusting. just learn to be cautious.
Maybe GOD wants you to meet many wrong people before you meet the right one. By doing this, when the right person comes along you'll be more thankfull.
No person deserves your tears, and the person that does deserve them won't make you cry.
Never stop smiling, not even when you're sad, someone might fall in love with your smile.
You may only be a person in this world, but for someone,you are the world.
Just Because someone doesn't love you as you wish, it doesn't mean you're not loved with all their being.
Don't cry because it came to an end. Smile because it happend.
It's a long long journey till any of us know where we're supposed to be. for now, we just shouldn't give up hope and look up and forward hoping for a better day. if today wasn't a good one, tommorow might be. if tomorrow isn't a good day, there is the day after. you go through the things you do for certain reasons.
Don't spend time with someone who doesn't care spending it with you.
There will always be people who'll hurt you, so you need to continue trusting. just learn to be cautious.
Maybe GOD wants you to meet many wrong people before you meet the right one. By doing this, when the right person comes along you'll be more thankfull.
No person deserves your tears, and the person that does deserve them won't make you cry.
Never stop smiling, not even when you're sad, someone might fall in love with your smile.
You may only be a person in this world, but for someone,you are the world.
Just Because someone doesn't love you as you wish, it doesn't mean you're not loved with all their being.
Don't cry because it came to an end. Smile because it happend.
It's a long long journey till any of us know where we're supposed to be. for now, we just shouldn't give up hope and look up and forward hoping for a better day. if today wasn't a good one, tommorow might be. if tomorrow isn't a good day, there is the day after. you go through the things you do for certain reasons.
thinking
well.....hm....i posted some of my thoughts on my xanga....muhahahaha....just try and find it....cause i'm not giving my xanga site out. muhahahaha.
well now. n e whoo....muhahahaha.
i had a nice sleep last night. muhahaha. this morning, i slept all the way till 9. muhahahaha. yupz yupz. that's a first in a short while....but.....i always wake up at 4:13 these days=.= what the heck is wrong with me? even today, i woke up at 4:13.....it seems like my body has a snooze button that is totally whack=.=
i dunno if i should skip food and nutrition today=.= boooo. but what will i do if i do skip? bleh=.= i suppose i'll wait and drive people home i suppose=.=
how fun=.=
sighs sighs. for some reason, i can never bring myself up to just hug people=.= what the hey?=.= oh wellz. nothing i can do about it i suppose. hahaha. i'm not afraid to voice my opinion, but when i need to show my emotion in actions....i freak...that's never goodXSXSXS.....well now....reading a book called jane eyre....muhahaha...some people did it for their isu, but i'm reading it for fun. so far, the first chapter is really good. so yeah....i'm reading on. muhahaha. plus, if soooo many people could say it was well-written....then it's a book worth reading. muhahahaha. my mission....to start folding roses....so i'll have 1000 of em by the end of uni....muhahahaha. that's my goal, unless there is something even more important than finishing uni in the next 4 years.....muhahaha. i haven't folded the last 1000th crane yet.....just can't....nothing to signify something new in my life....
people never make plans with me. am i not important to make plans with? sighs sighs. it's frustrating when it seems like only you care about a relationship that is quickly going sour. sighs sighs. but no one sees it as this. my church friends and i used to be very close....we'd get together and see each other even outside of church.....but since my church fell apart, there is no seeing of each other except on sundays for a very brief like 20 minute period....what the hell? sighs sighs. some friends come and go. som friends come and stay with us for a while and then go. then there are some friends that come and stay with you for the rest of your life. sighs sighs.
well now. n e whoo....muhahahaha.
i had a nice sleep last night. muhahaha. this morning, i slept all the way till 9. muhahahaha. yupz yupz. that's a first in a short while....but.....i always wake up at 4:13 these days=.= what the heck is wrong with me? even today, i woke up at 4:13.....it seems like my body has a snooze button that is totally whack=.=
i dunno if i should skip food and nutrition today=.= boooo. but what will i do if i do skip? bleh=.= i suppose i'll wait and drive people home i suppose=.=
how fun=.=
sighs sighs. for some reason, i can never bring myself up to just hug people=.= what the hey?=.= oh wellz. nothing i can do about it i suppose. hahaha. i'm not afraid to voice my opinion, but when i need to show my emotion in actions....i freak...that's never goodXSXSXS.....well now....reading a book called jane eyre....muhahaha...some people did it for their isu, but i'm reading it for fun. so far, the first chapter is really good. so yeah....i'm reading on. muhahaha. plus, if soooo many people could say it was well-written....then it's a book worth reading. muhahahaha. my mission....to start folding roses....so i'll have 1000 of em by the end of uni....muhahahaha. that's my goal, unless there is something even more important than finishing uni in the next 4 years.....muhahaha. i haven't folded the last 1000th crane yet.....just can't....nothing to signify something new in my life....
people never make plans with me. am i not important to make plans with? sighs sighs. it's frustrating when it seems like only you care about a relationship that is quickly going sour. sighs sighs. but no one sees it as this. my church friends and i used to be very close....we'd get together and see each other even outside of church.....but since my church fell apart, there is no seeing of each other except on sundays for a very brief like 20 minute period....what the hell? sighs sighs. some friends come and go. som friends come and stay with us for a while and then go. then there are some friends that come and stay with you for the rest of your life. sighs sighs.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
wonderful day
well today i finished my english essay....was a pretty crappy essay.....but...meh....muhahahaha. food and nutrition is sucha joke...work period.....something that i don't do in food and nutrition is work. sighs sighs.
didn't go to bio today....need to do some bio hmwk.....bleh bleh. muhahahaha. oh.....sooo happy....soooo very happy...
spent like egh...almost 3 hours at the mall with matt. hahahaha. he's sooooo not used to shopping with a girl. hahahahaha. seriously, i could have stayed at the mall for like 6 or 7 hours....hahahaha....and one hour and a half into walking around.....wow, what time is it? i am sooo not used to walking around. muhahaha. we didn't even go into every store. hahaha. most times, i go around every inch of the mall and into ever store...hahahaha. trying to find the best deal of course. muhahaha. but....i didn't buy n e thing for myself today. hahaha. i bought this super cute journal that had a black lab on the cover. my sister will love it...she'll think it's absolutely adorable....cause well....i thought it was!!! muhahaha. matt said it looked grammaish=.= but oh wellz....i thought it was cute n e ways. muhahaha.
we used up most of his change...hahaha. oh, he bought me lunch....wow....kfc twister....was yummy....just....every bite made me think.....wow the calories....all the water i need to drink, all the time i need to spend at the gym. muhahaha. but....it's the thought that counts.....and it was cute.....i told him not to spend money on me=.= oh....
hahaha. quite a day.....a good memory in my books. muhahaha. well hope tomorrow is just as good. keke^^:D:P me gonna be super bored at home tomorrow....but it's all good. sighs sighs.....
didn't go to bio today....need to do some bio hmwk.....bleh bleh. muhahahaha. oh.....sooo happy....soooo very happy...
spent like egh...almost 3 hours at the mall with matt. hahahaha. he's sooooo not used to shopping with a girl. hahahahaha. seriously, i could have stayed at the mall for like 6 or 7 hours....hahahaha....and one hour and a half into walking around.....wow, what time is it? i am sooo not used to walking around. muhahaha. we didn't even go into every store. hahaha. most times, i go around every inch of the mall and into ever store...hahahaha. trying to find the best deal of course. muhahaha. but....i didn't buy n e thing for myself today. hahaha. i bought this super cute journal that had a black lab on the cover. my sister will love it...she'll think it's absolutely adorable....cause well....i thought it was!!! muhahaha. matt said it looked grammaish=.= but oh wellz....i thought it was cute n e ways. muhahaha.
we used up most of his change...hahaha. oh, he bought me lunch....wow....kfc twister....was yummy....just....every bite made me think.....wow the calories....all the water i need to drink, all the time i need to spend at the gym. muhahaha. but....it's the thought that counts.....and it was cute.....i told him not to spend money on me=.= oh....
hahaha. quite a day.....a good memory in my books. muhahaha. well hope tomorrow is just as good. keke^^:D:P me gonna be super bored at home tomorrow....but it's all good. sighs sighs.....
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
contacts!!!
wooo whooo....sooo hypa.....contacts....ahhhhhh ahhhhh!!!! getting a fish bowl and contacts this weekend!!!! WOOO WHOOOOOOO!!!!! muhahahaha. my mommy already knows that i am planning to give my cranes away. she knows that i don't tend to keep the things i make, but i tend to give them out to people. hahahaha. wow.....if i made 1000 cranes and i gave it all to one person....wow.....that would be one hell of a bouquet.....wow.
CONTACT LENSES!!!! YEAH YEAH!!!! NO MORE GLASSES!!!! NO MORE GLASSES!!!! WOOOO WHOOO.....
and supposedly i would be cuter without my glasses....*blushes*....awww...thanx...muhahahaha. and then....."or shall i say you would look 'sexier'." muhahahaha. egh.....XSXSXS.....*blushes*....muhahahahaha.....
well n e whooo.....GETTING CONTACTS AFTER SOOOO LONG OF ASKING!!!! WOOOO WHOOOOOO.....I CAN FINALLY WEAR MY FOBBY SUN GLASSES!!!!....but......i think i might just buy other ones because i don't like the blue ones n e more.....AHHHHHH!!!!! CONTACTS!!!!!!!!.....WOOOO WHOOOOOOOO!!!!! all the hype....i'll get get disappointed in the end...but....WOOOO WHOOOOO
yeah yeah....here comes my fishie bowl and contacts this weekend...but of course...it'll take about like a few days to actually get them prescribed since they probably haveta order it...muhahahahaha......
CONTACT LENSES!!!! YEAH YEAH!!!! NO MORE GLASSES!!!! NO MORE GLASSES!!!! WOOOO WHOOO.....
and supposedly i would be cuter without my glasses....*blushes*....awww...thanx...muhahahaha. and then....."or shall i say you would look 'sexier'." muhahahaha. egh.....XSXSXS.....*blushes*....muhahahahaha.....
well n e whooo.....GETTING CONTACTS AFTER SOOOO LONG OF ASKING!!!! WOOOO WHOOOOOO.....I CAN FINALLY WEAR MY FOBBY SUN GLASSES!!!!....but......i think i might just buy other ones because i don't like the blue ones n e more.....AHHHHHH!!!!! CONTACTS!!!!!!!!.....WOOOO WHOOOOOOOO!!!!! all the hype....i'll get get disappointed in the end...but....WOOOO WHOOOOO
yeah yeah....here comes my fishie bowl and contacts this weekend...but of course...it'll take about like a few days to actually get them prescribed since they probably haveta order it...muhahahahaha......
success ma?
for a second there....my blogger account just had a total malfunction=.= bleh...
and so let's see. i said i would see if i can fold that stinking dragonfly....it was the only thing that interested me since it was really pretty with that paper with the design.....origami books are sooo vague and it leaves you to fold things to the way you want to. hahaha. let's just say i did fold it. hahaha. it does look somewhat like the one in the book. it's pretty decent....normal paper is just tooo thick=.= it hurt my fingers=.= muhahahaha. so i suppose i succeeded....hm....n e other animals i want to fold ar? i dunno la. muhahahah....the dragon fly was the only one i thought that was worthy of folding because the finished product in the book looked sooo preeeeettttty. muhahaha. and yeah, in that sense, i have succeeded because i finished folding it. muhahaha. it's just not as pretty as i would have wanted....but...pretty enough. muhahaha....i need a new adjective. muhahaha. wow...i am a grammar freak=.=
well n e whoo....you wanna see my kinda decent dragonfly? the book folded it in the opposite direction that i folded it in......muhahaha....so it looks kinda diff from the one in the book, but i can fix it if i wanted to. hahahaha. it's pretty easy....but a crane is still easier...muhahahaha...need to count my cranes=.= how fun ar=.= well yupz yupz....going off now...l8a l8a....muhahahahah
i only know how to fold 3 things....=.= well 4 now.....stars, cranes, roses, and now....a dragonfly!!! but dragonflies just aren't interesting=.= muhahahaha....rather hurts my finger...but not interesting=.= so yupz yupz....bleh....l8a l8a
and so let's see. i said i would see if i can fold that stinking dragonfly....it was the only thing that interested me since it was really pretty with that paper with the design.....origami books are sooo vague and it leaves you to fold things to the way you want to. hahaha. let's just say i did fold it. hahaha. it does look somewhat like the one in the book. it's pretty decent....normal paper is just tooo thick=.= it hurt my fingers=.= muhahahaha. so i suppose i succeeded....hm....n e other animals i want to fold ar? i dunno la. muhahahah....the dragon fly was the only one i thought that was worthy of folding because the finished product in the book looked sooo preeeeettttty. muhahaha. and yeah, in that sense, i have succeeded because i finished folding it. muhahaha. it's just not as pretty as i would have wanted....but...pretty enough. muhahaha....i need a new adjective. muhahaha. wow...i am a grammar freak=.=
well n e whoo....you wanna see my kinda decent dragonfly? the book folded it in the opposite direction that i folded it in......muhahaha....so it looks kinda diff from the one in the book, but i can fix it if i wanted to. hahahaha. it's pretty easy....but a crane is still easier...muhahahaha...need to count my cranes=.= how fun ar=.= well yupz yupz....going off now...l8a l8a....muhahahahah
i only know how to fold 3 things....=.= well 4 now.....stars, cranes, roses, and now....a dragonfly!!! but dragonflies just aren't interesting=.= muhahahaha....rather hurts my finger...but not interesting=.= so yupz yupz....bleh....l8a l8a
oh no!!!=.=
well now. everything seems to be going alrighties these little whiles la. muhahha. the only thingy me stressing these days is my english. i am wondering if i can finish recopying 8 pagies of full scap in a 70 minute period. i believe i can, pray for me please la.
i seem to be very unhealthy=.= according to matt, i keep listing all these foul things about my healthXSXS that's not ever a good signXSXS oh wellz now...muhahaha. enjoying my life right now. and right now, i am still young, i have time to become healthy, but i should maintain health. health only deminishes after 30....so yeah....oh wellz...
well now. hahahah. smog getting to me i think=.= args.....i'm like super sensitive to the weather=.= yeah....if it's about to storm, i have like an arthritis ankle or sumthing.....when it gets smoggy, i have breathing problems and headaches=.= yeah, i get headaches from the smallest of buzzing sounds=.= args....i am like headache proned=.=
well besides that....i had a pretty good day. at least i think it went well n e ways. hahahaha. dunno. sometimes.....a good day could go horribly wrong by the end of it....
sighs.....i really need to improve my attitude to my parents....ahhhhh.......
oh....hahahaha....the origami paper that matt gave me yesterday smells like his house. hahahaha. well duh....it's expected it would...but still....hahahahaha.
well now, my day? my thoughts? right now...all i say....HEAD IN PAIN!!!! ahhhhh!!!!!=.= but i have had a good day in general.....
yeah, i am like a little kid. i have habbits of a small child.....but on the other hand....i don't dress like a child, i don't talk like a child, i don't think like a child. if i am happy, don't you want to feel it too? don't you want to share something good? i mean.....if you are very close to me....everything is shared. whether or not i am happy, but if you don't know me well, wouldn't you just want to feel the happiness? muhahaha. yupz yupz.
on to teaching myself to make a flatt dragonfly....it looks good in the book....wonder if i'll be successfull on my first try...muhahahah....we'll see....l8a l8a....
i seem to be very unhealthy=.= according to matt, i keep listing all these foul things about my healthXSXS that's not ever a good signXSXS oh wellz now...muhahaha. enjoying my life right now. and right now, i am still young, i have time to become healthy, but i should maintain health. health only deminishes after 30....so yeah....oh wellz...
well now. hahahah. smog getting to me i think=.= args.....i'm like super sensitive to the weather=.= yeah....if it's about to storm, i have like an arthritis ankle or sumthing.....when it gets smoggy, i have breathing problems and headaches=.= yeah, i get headaches from the smallest of buzzing sounds=.= args....i am like headache proned=.=
well besides that....i had a pretty good day. at least i think it went well n e ways. hahahaha. dunno. sometimes.....a good day could go horribly wrong by the end of it....
sighs.....i really need to improve my attitude to my parents....ahhhhh.......
oh....hahahaha....the origami paper that matt gave me yesterday smells like his house. hahahaha. well duh....it's expected it would...but still....hahahahaha.
well now, my day? my thoughts? right now...all i say....HEAD IN PAIN!!!! ahhhhh!!!!!=.= but i have had a good day in general.....
yeah, i am like a little kid. i have habbits of a small child.....but on the other hand....i don't dress like a child, i don't talk like a child, i don't think like a child. if i am happy, don't you want to feel it too? don't you want to share something good? i mean.....if you are very close to me....everything is shared. whether or not i am happy, but if you don't know me well, wouldn't you just want to feel the happiness? muhahaha. yupz yupz.
on to teaching myself to make a flatt dragonfly....it looks good in the book....wonder if i'll be successfull on my first try...muhahahah....we'll see....l8a l8a....
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
just a title
and so.....i suppose i was shocked because i wasn't ready to be asked questions....but.....i dunno....questions aren't bad...
and so.....what kind of friend am i? it doesn't matter what kind of friend i am. adding adjectives in front of that noun simply just is a formality. it doesn't matter.
hahahaha. i dunno....i'm just feeling satisfied with my life. keke^^:D:P 1000th crane here i come!!!!!
muhahahaha. what shall i make next? what shall i spend my time tediously working on for my next step? hm.....we'll see.....muhahahahah
sooo hypa....sooo happy.....ahhhhhh.....
and so.....what kind of friend am i? it doesn't matter what kind of friend i am. adding adjectives in front of that noun simply just is a formality. it doesn't matter.
hahahaha. i dunno....i'm just feeling satisfied with my life. keke^^:D:P 1000th crane here i come!!!!!
muhahahaha. what shall i make next? what shall i spend my time tediously working on for my next step? hm.....we'll see.....muhahahahah
sooo hypa....sooo happy.....ahhhhhh.....
999 cranes
i am unwilling to fold my 1000 crane.....
1000 cranes for me would symbolize change. but what change have i accomplished? nothing in my life has changed yet....
for now....i will take out all my ugly cranes and replace each and every one with a better looking one. so i will have even less than 999 cranes. hahahaha.
i have not accomplished something to signify a new part of my life. actually, while i fold them, many things have changed in my life. i had started to make these cranes in grade 10, while sammy morin was still here. yeah, at that time, i had one person in my mind and my wish was to have him back in my life.....but gradually, as i made them, my mind wandered away and i become at ease with myself. gradually, i made them because i wished that he would not be going to pei.....strictly just friendship, even though at that time, i still liked him, and he didn't like me more than just a friend, maybe just a little less. i gave up on making cranes after i heard he wasn't going and his father decided to stay in canada with them. so yes....i gave up on that dream. i picked up making the cranes when i only had 100 sum odd......and these cranes symbolize something different.
i am hoping these cranes symbolize my hope, my dream, my future, my tomorrow, my everything. i mean, only GOD could mean all those things to me....but.....i am reminding myself that there are better days. i am reminding myself that there are things in the past that are meant to stay in the past. i am reminding myself that tomorrow is a better day.
for now, i will not fold that very last crane....i just can't.....symbolically, folding that last crane will mean nothing because nothing has changed.....
1000 cranes for me would symbolize change. but what change have i accomplished? nothing in my life has changed yet....
for now....i will take out all my ugly cranes and replace each and every one with a better looking one. so i will have even less than 999 cranes. hahahaha.
i have not accomplished something to signify a new part of my life. actually, while i fold them, many things have changed in my life. i had started to make these cranes in grade 10, while sammy morin was still here. yeah, at that time, i had one person in my mind and my wish was to have him back in my life.....but gradually, as i made them, my mind wandered away and i become at ease with myself. gradually, i made them because i wished that he would not be going to pei.....strictly just friendship, even though at that time, i still liked him, and he didn't like me more than just a friend, maybe just a little less. i gave up on making cranes after i heard he wasn't going and his father decided to stay in canada with them. so yes....i gave up on that dream. i picked up making the cranes when i only had 100 sum odd......and these cranes symbolize something different.
i am hoping these cranes symbolize my hope, my dream, my future, my tomorrow, my everything. i mean, only GOD could mean all those things to me....but.....i am reminding myself that there are better days. i am reminding myself that there are things in the past that are meant to stay in the past. i am reminding myself that tomorrow is a better day.
for now, i will not fold that very last crane....i just can't.....symbolically, folding that last crane will mean nothing because nothing has changed.....
Monday, May 09, 2005
Giving it all to GOD
for now, i am going to GOD in prayer again. over and over again, i have cried day after day. nights on end i lay sleepless staring at my ceiling because i want to please my parents, and please myself. and through my prayers, i have found peace. no decision is an easy one. in life, decisions like your future are never easy. sighs sighs. but.....my prayers have given me peace. if i make the choice i want, my parents will not appreciate it. if i don't get what i want, they will be happy. the way i see it, i have no choice. if i want to be happy, i must please my parents. sighs sighs.
val asked me, are you staying close to home so that you can be close to home or to matt? you told me you wanted to be close to matt a while ago. and i told you that was a stupid choice. which one is it?
the thing is, i had wanted to go to mac since i was in grade 8ish. and matt wasn't a factor then. i had always said that guys should never affected the choices i make in life. and yet lately, i had choosen mac because it was close to home, and ultimately close to him.....sighs sighs. sad aye? it's not like we started n e thing, i shoudln't feel so bad for going to guelph.
ultimately, GOD's plan is unforeseeable by humans. so i should have no fear in all that i do. everything will be fine. even though right now i have a broken heart, broken dream, and broken frame of mind, everything will be alright.
why are you afraid of falling in love with me?
val asked me, are you staying close to home so that you can be close to home or to matt? you told me you wanted to be close to matt a while ago. and i told you that was a stupid choice. which one is it?
the thing is, i had wanted to go to mac since i was in grade 8ish. and matt wasn't a factor then. i had always said that guys should never affected the choices i make in life. and yet lately, i had choosen mac because it was close to home, and ultimately close to him.....sighs sighs. sad aye? it's not like we started n e thing, i shoudln't feel so bad for going to guelph.
ultimately, GOD's plan is unforeseeable by humans. so i should have no fear in all that i do. everything will be fine. even though right now i have a broken heart, broken dream, and broken frame of mind, everything will be alright.
why are you afraid of falling in love with me?
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